A rich man and a poor man are talking about their wives birthdays. The rich man says, "I bought my wife a gold bracelet and a platinum bracelet. I told her if you don't like the gold you can wear the platinum." The poor man says, "I did a similar thing with my wife. I bought her a sweater and a vibrator. I told her if she doesn't like the sweater she can go f*ck herself!!!
Joined: Jan '08
Location: Sweden
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 11
No Offence to anyone!
"One day at the concentration camp, Hitler comed to make a visit and once he was there he saw a little girl, and asked; -How old are you, my dear? -I'll be 7 tomorrow! And Hitler answeared; -No, you won't...
(srry for my really bad english, don't know if that's exactly correct, but it goes like something as this.)
Joined: Sep '07
Location: Sweden
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 714
A man walk in an whanted to change his name and the man at the desk sais "why?" and the man anwserd "becaus my name is Dorian Hitler" "oh i can understand why youd whant to change that" the man at the disk said "what would you like to change it to?" "Adolf"
no offens, but you got to admit that you chuckeld a bit
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey, Pop! What are you doin'?" His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning."
Joined: Nov '07
Location: Latvia
Age: 38 (M)
Posts: 51
He chuck norris some facts about him If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Joined: Nov '07
Location: Netherlands
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 471
Posted by go3an: chuck norris always sleep whit the lits on, not becaus chuck norris is affraid of the dark, its becaus the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
