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  31-Jan-12, 17:32   #1
Vaseline and other funnies +2 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
A man doing market research knocked on a door. He was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex."

The researcher was a little taken back. He replied with candor, "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob to keep the kids out."


Cajun Confession

A married Cajun went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almos' had de affair wid annuder woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Cajun said, "Well, we get undress' and rub together, but den I stop."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The Cajun left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Cajun replied, "Yeah fadder, but me..I rub de $50 on de box, and 'cordin' to you, that be de same as puttin' it in."


Home Depot

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around at Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little worried."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.

lol my favorite Big Smile

Difference Between Guts and Balls

We've all heard about men having guts and men having balls. In fact, they are both slang for 'courage'. But you know what? They aren't synonyms.

Do you want to know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS- is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met at the staircase by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning or are you going flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, being met at the staircase by your wife with a broom, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."



Big Smile Big Smile Big Smile

     
  31-Jan-12, 18:07   #2
  0 
sadamman 

Joined: Jan '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 28 (M)
Posts: 1204
bad jokes r us Blink Big Smile Thumbs Down Confused Evil Question Disagree Sleepy

     
  31-Jan-12, 18:19   #3
  0 
SuperNoob 

Joined: May '09
Location: India
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 4873
we been missing them Thumbs Up

     
  31-Jan-12, 18:26   #4
  0 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
Posted by SuperNoob:
we been missing them Thumbs Up



lol thanks SN Smile the last one made me lol Big Smile

     
  31-Jan-12, 18:29   #5
  0 
hoodi420 

Joined: Jan '11
Location: United States
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 852
Love the joke threads, its good to be back. Thumbs Up

     
  31-Jan-12, 18:41   #6
  0 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
Posted by hoodi420:
Love the joke threads, its good to be back. Thumbs Up



I am glad you are back as well Smile

     
  31-Jan-12, 22:55   #7
  0 
Greenmohave 

Joined: Jan '11
Location: United States
Age: 52 (M)
Posts: 3361
I allowed my wife to read your jokes which are very entertaining.

This was of course after she allowed me get on the computer to visit BRM!

     
  1-Feb-12, 01:36   #8
  0 
retribution 

Joined: Mar '11
Location: Canada
Age: 37 (M)
Posts: 1490
Hahaha, I'd tell my girlfriend those jokes, but I value my balls and the somewhat frequent sex too much.

Especially loved the cajun joke haha.

     
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