Posted by
B1gfoot:
Could have also linked like so..
Jesus made his usual rounds in heaven when he noticed a wizened, white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. The next week he was disturbed to come across him again, looking equally miserable, and a week later he stopped to talk to him.
"See here, old fellow," said Jesus kindly, "this is heaven. The sun is shining, you've got all you could want to eat, all the instruments you might want to play-- you're supposed to be blissfully happy! What's wrong?
"Well," said the old man, "you see, I was a carpenter on earth, and lost my only, dearly beloved son at an early age. And here in heaven I was hoping more than anything to find him."
"Tears sprang from Jesus' eyes. "FATHER!" he cried.
The old man jumped to his feet, bursting into tears, and sobbed, "PINOCCHIO!"
Q: Why did the Rationalist cross the road?
A:To be sure to see both sides.
Taoism
S**t happens.
Buddhism
If s**t happens, it's not really s**t.
Islam
If s**t happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism
S**t happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism
Why does this s**t always happen to us?
Hinduism
This s**t happened before.
Catholicism
S**t happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna
S**t happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism
Send more s**t.
Atheism
No s**t.
Jehova's Witness
Knock knock, s**t happens.
Hedonism
There's nothing like a good s**t happening.
Christian Science
S**t happens in your mind.
Agnosticism
Maybe s**t happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this s**t.
Existentialism
What is s**t anyway?
Stoicism
This s**t doesn't bother me.
