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10-Feb-13, 13:42 #1

snoggy

Posted 10-Feb-13, 13:42 #1

snoggy snoggy is currently offline!

Joined: Jun '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 68 (M)
Posts: 95

Q: What did the dealer say to the deck of cards?
A: "I can’t deal with you anymore."

Q: What do craps dealers eat for dessert?
A: Dice pudding.

Q: How's a casino like a good woman?
A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

Q: What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?
A: In a casino, you really mean it!

Q: How can you tell if a poker player is bluffing?
A: His chips are moving.

Q: When is the only time you split tens in BlackJack?
A: When the table is full and your buddies need a seat.

Q: What kind of shark is always gambling?
A: A CardShark

Q: Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa?
A: Because of all the cheetahs

Q: How were Adam and Eve prevented from gambling?
A: Their paradise (pair-o-dice) was taken away from them!

Q: What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner?
A: Whatever his comp card allows him to.

Q: Whats the difference between poker players and politicans?
A: Politicans tell the truth.

Q: Whats the difference between online poker and live poker?
A: You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.

Q: What's the difference between a poker player and a dog?
A: In about ten years, the dog quits whining.

Q: What did a blonde from England bring a bag of french fries to a poker game?
A: Someone told her to bring her own chips.

Q: What do vampires play poker for?
A: High Stakes!

Q: What's the hardest thing about play mini baccarat?
A: Telling your parents your gay!

Q: How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the Pizza.

One Liners
Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back.

If it weren't for the drug use, degenerate gambling, and drinking I would be a great catch.

Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling...

I can support my gambling habit without a job, but I want one so I can support it even more.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

My cat quit playing poker with the big cats at the zoo....seems he discovered there were just too many cheetahs.

If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Big Smile

10-Feb-13, 15:44 #2

Greenmohave Greenmohave is currently offline!

Posted 10-Feb-13, 15:44 #2

Greenmohave Greenmohave is currently offline!

Joined: Jan '11
Location: United States
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 3361

Always worth reading some laughs! Enjoyed and hopefully your as good at playing poker as you are at posting these laughs. If so, your doing well! Good Luck!

11-Feb-13, 11:48 #3

jessthehuman jessthehuman is currently offline!

Posted 11-Feb-13, 11:48 #3

jessthehuman jessthehuman is currently offline!

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 40 (M)
Posts: 6483

I think I like this one the best

Q: What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner?
A: Whatever his comp card allows him to.

Thumbs Up

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