Joined: Nov '12
Location: Canada
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 4675
Posted by damosk: Ronin....Have read all of your story now....barring the last addition two posts above. I have to say that while I am impressed with your effort, I am left a little wanting with the actual way it is written. Maybe a little over detailed at times, but good. I was kind of wondering what happened about the girlfriend when he left the home never to return....... it seems he didnt want to wake her up playing poker, but didnt her a second thought when he left to go and blow people to bits!
Looking forward to the next episode though.
G'day Amigo
I must admit that I am shocked to hear you say that you feel the story is too detailed. Every writing course I have ever taken states that the single largest mistake writers make is not being detailed enough. The fans of both Steven King and Tom Clancy have been quoted as saying the one thing in their writing which makes them so great is the amount of detail in their books. Can you imagine the book or even the movie "The Hunt for Red October" having been anywhere near as good without the extra amount of details.
Well all the best to you mate, and no I have not forgotten about Amber who was Steve Cole's girlfriend.
Joined: Nov '12
Location: Canada
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 4675
Posted by RoninHarper: G'day mates Well I just added new material to the first post and splint thing up into chapter sections as well. Hope it brings you some enjoyment.
Ronin
yea what he just said Be cool mates going to do a lot of writing tomorrow if all goes to plan. later
Joined: Feb '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 62 (M)
Posts: 169
I like creative writing also, i think once you get it proof read/spell check full copyright etc, you should send a 1st segment manuscript copy / not email, printed format to B L U FF MAG att of editor, with a covering letter explaining they could run the story over 3-6 issues segmantized ..this can build you a fan base for book/ebook etc. just a tho i don't knowyour plans for it, but worth a try on the TITLE alone and it's male orientated market with poker infused .gl with it tho.. i need to start my next writing project in 2014, so all good.. (explain if thier in-house artist could work on it wth you with some character Steve Cole etc would enhance the story) worth a shove imo!!!
(explain if thier in-house artist could work on it wth you with some character Steve Cole etc would enhance the story) worth a shove imo!!! 
