English flag   Dansk (danish) flag     (20:21 GMT)
 
Username   Password  

BankrollMob Christmas logo  
Free no deposit poker bonuses Reviews Bankrolls - Free No Deposit Offers Poker Forum News: Poker, Casino, Betting & Bingo Sport Bets Poker Freerolls & Tournaments Xmas Offers Support & FAQ
transparent separator

BankrollMob Forum

BankrollMob Forum » Off-Topic » Dlkiv's 2013 blonde jokes +

New Thread Forums Search Subscriptions Bookmarks

  5-Oct-13, 16:25   #1
Dlkiv's 2013 blonde jokes + 0 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
#1
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

#2
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

#3
What do you call an intelligent blonde?

A Golden Retriever.

#4
There were three third graders walking down the street a redhead, brunette, and a blonde. Which one had the best figure?

The Blonde, she was 18.

#5 Why is Fishing better than sex

When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good. If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.

- Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.

- In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

- You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

- You don’t have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

- You can catch a fish on a 20-cent night-crawler. If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie minimum.

- Fish don’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.


#6 Mother Nature


There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way right.

They decided that since the shots were so bad, they’d just meet up at the hole.

So the first guy went off and looked and looked and finally found his ball sitting down deep in a field of beautiful Buttercups. He promptly pulled out his 7 iron and started whacking away. Buttercups were flying everywhere, but the ball wouldn’t come out.

Well, finally Mother Nature got mad.

She came up from the ground and said to the man, “I’ve created this beautiful field of Buttercups and you have no respect for them at all, now they are ruined. I’m going to have to punish you. Since these are Buttercups, your punishment is that you cannot have butter for a year.”

The man started to laugh and went back to whacking at the Buttercups.

Mother Nature said, “Hey, this is no laughing matter. What do you find so funny?”

The man looked up and said, “My buddy is over on the other side in the P***y-willows.”




Big Smile Smile Big Smile Smile Big Smile Smile Big Smile Smile Big Smile Smile

Edited by dlkiv (Saturday, October 05, 2013 @ 16:26 GMT)


     
  5-Oct-13, 17:37   #2
  0 
mahdrof 

Joined: Nov '09
Location: Canada
Age: 47 (M)
Posts: 2367
Well well well, I thought you were gone for good. Welcome back! Smile

     
  5-Oct-13, 20:00   #3
  0 
Mober 
Joined: Mar '09
Location: Greece
Age: 39 (F)
Posts: 10045
Hello there dlkiv. Welcome back Big Smile
I hope everything runs good for you.

Thanks for the new jokes Cool Thumbs Up

     
  5-Oct-13, 20:32   #4
  0 
demodawggy 

Joined: Feb '12
Location: Canada
Age: 56 (M)
Posts: 5682
Hi dlkiv...! Smile

Ooooooh Ooooooh......I've got one too....

How can you tell if a blonde has been at the computer....?

There's white out on the screen.... Big Smile

     
  5-Oct-13, 20:46   #5
  0 
teddybears73 
Joined: Nov '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 59 (M)
Posts: 3181
hahahaa, some good jokes there dlkiv Thumbs Up
you do like your blonde jokes,you don't happen to be one yourself are you ???
Cool Cool Cool

     
  5-Oct-13, 23:23   #6
  0 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
I am honey Big Smile and really get them Blink

------------
Posted by mahdrof:
Well well well, I thought you were gone for good. Welcome back! Smile

Well thank you Love Blink

Did you really think you could get rid of me that easy Blink

------------
Posted by Mober:
Hello there dlkiv. Welcome back Big Smile
I hope everything runs good for you.

Thanks for the new jokes Cool Thumbs Up

Hey Honey xoxo

Same to you dear Smile

------------
Posted by demodawggy:
Hi dlkiv...! Smile

Ooooooh Ooooooh......I've got one too....

How can you tell if a blonde has been at the computer....?

There's white out on the screen.... Big Smile


Oh dear! There IS white out on my screen!!! Are you Dozn01 in disguise? MMMM we had more downs than ups.

As Walter White said..." If you really do not know who I am ,,, then best to Tread lightly"

I think I will have fun with you. Big Smile

Nice to meet you dear Tongue Blink

Edited by dlkiv (Sunday, October 06, 2013 @ 01:20 GMT)


     
  6-Oct-13, 01:39   #7
  0 
demodawggy 

Joined: Feb '12
Location: Canada
Age: 56 (M)
Posts: 5682
Posted by dlkiv:



I think I will have fun with you. Big Smile

Nice to meet you dear Tongue Blink



If you asked ol' Beaker if that was a test tube in his pocket,...or is he glad to meet you,....he would have to say "we we weeeee wee we we weeeee wee,...uh-huh"...! Big Smile

Edited by demodawggy (Sunday, October 06, 2013 @ 01:44 GMT)


     
  6-Oct-13, 01:57   #8
  0 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
Posted by demodawggy:
Posted by dlkiv:



I think I will have fun with you. Big Smile

Nice to meet you dear Tongue Blink



If you asked ol' Beaker if that was a test tube in his pocket,...or is he glad to meet you,....he would have to say "we we weeeee wee we we weeeee wee,...uh-huh"...! Big Smile



Test tubes are very small and thin. I would have to ask for pepper , tweezers and either a microscope or telescope. Which do you think it would be? Either way I am out of your league. Big Smile

I like men who I do not need gadgets for Blink

     
  6-Oct-13, 02:25   #9
  0 
mahdrof 

Joined: Nov '09
Location: Canada
Age: 47 (M)
Posts: 2367
Posted by dlkiv:
Posted by demodawggy:
Posted by dlkiv:



I think I will have fun with you. Big Smile

Nice to meet you dear Tongue Blink



If you asked ol' Beaker if that was a test tube in his pocket,...or is he glad to meet you,....he would have to say "we we weeeee wee we we weeeee wee,...uh-huh"...! Big Smile



Test tubes are very small and thin. I would have to ask for pepper , tweezers and either a microscope or telescope. Which do you think it would be? Either way I am out of your league. Big Smile

I like men who I do not need gadgets for Blink


Still in good form I see... Big Smile

     
  6-Oct-13, 05:08   #10
  0 
SuperNoob 

Joined: May '09
Location: India
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 4873
oh my; oh my; look who's back

     
  6-Oct-13, 11:44   #11
  0 
dlkiv 

Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 51 (F)
Posts: 2558
Posted by mahdrof:
Posted by dlkiv:
Posted by demodawggy:
Posted by dlkiv:



I think I will have fun with you. Big Smile

Nice to meet you dear Tongue Blink



If you asked ol' Beaker if that was a test tube in his pocket,...or is he glad to meet you,....he would have to say "we we weeeee wee we we weeeee wee,...uh-huh"...! Big Smile



Test tubes are very small and thin. I would have to ask for pepper , tweezers and either a microscope or telescope. Which do you think it would be? Either way I am out of your league. Big Smile

I like men who I do not need gadgets for Blink


Still in good form I see... Big Smile



Always honey Big Smile Heart

------------
Posted by SuperNoob:
oh my; oh my; look who's back

Hey NOOB Smile How have you been dear ?

     
  8-Oct-13, 16:16   #12
  0 
SuperNoob 

Joined: May '09
Location: India
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 4873
Posted by dlkiv:
Posted by SuperNoob:
oh my; oh my; look who's back

Hey NOOB Smile How have you been dear ?


I'm doing pretty gud, though very busy. hardly get any time for poker

     
BankrollMob Forum » Off-Topic » Dlkiv's 2013 blonde jokes +

 
Forum Rules | Support & FAQ

© 2016 BankrollMob.com - All Rights Reserved CONTACT | ABOUT | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS & CONDITIONS | NEWSLETTERS | AFFILIATES | REPORT SPAM | ADVERTISING
  Bookmark and Share