English flag   Dansk (danish) flag     (08:45 GMT)
 
Username   Password  

BankrollMob Christmas logo  
Free no deposit poker bonuses Reviews Bankrolls - Free No Deposit Offers Poker Forum News: Poker, Casino, Betting & Bingo Sport Bets Poker Freerolls & Tournaments Xmas Offers Support & FAQ
transparent separator

BankrollMob Forum

BankrollMob Forum » Off-Topic » Chuck Norris Jokes

New Thread Forums Search Subscriptions Bookmarks

  2-Dec-13, 19:22   #1
Chuck Norris Jokes +3 
guffyman1 

Joined: Dec '09
Location: Greece
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 99
First of all i want to say hi to all Mobsters as i set up my first thread here.I'm over 2 years member but just last days started more seriously with Bankroll Mob,so HELLO EVERYONE.

Now it's 2nd of December and it's comming Christmas all over the world.I had the idea to create this thread and everyone is welcomed to say a Chuck Norris Joke.So lest spread out the laugh as far as we can Mobsters Blink

(It's not mine,but when i first read those 3 jokes felt down of my chair from lagh)


>>Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

>>Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

>>When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

Your turn now Big Smile

     
  2-Dec-13, 20:23   #2
  0 
Phisix 

Joined: May '13
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 2216
Cool


     
  2-Dec-13, 21:11   #3
  0 
Mober 
Joined: Mar '09
Location: Greece
Age: 39 (F)
Posts: 10045
The first joke was a very good one Big Smile

     
  2-Dec-13, 21:13   #4
 
This post by noonlion has been removed, probably due to being spam or because it was irrelevant to this topic.
  2-Dec-13, 21:59   #5
  0 
guffyman1 

Joined: Dec '09
Location: Greece
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 99
#noonlion so pathetic person,i feel sorry about your family Sad

     
  2-Dec-13, 22:02   #6
  0 
noonlion 

Joined: Mar '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 32 (M)
Posts: 1277
Posted by guffyman1:
#noonlion so pathetic person,i feel sorry about your family Sad


It was a chuck norris joke...chill out, it wasnt aimed at you or anyone in particular.

     
  2-Dec-13, 22:08   #7
  0 
guffyman1 

Joined: Dec '09
Location: Greece
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 99
Lol did't got it Tongue,took it as an abusive language.O.k mate good one Big Smile

     
  2-Dec-13, 22:12   #8
  +1 
Peter7878 

Joined: Dec '12
Location: Bulgaria
Age: 40 (M)
Posts: 1022
Nice thread guffyman1! Congratulations man! Smile

Here you are some jokes about Chuck Norris:

=========================================

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

• Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

• There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

• Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

• If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.

• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.


• Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

• Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

• Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

• Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.


• Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

• Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

• Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

• Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

• Chuck Norris can build a campfire under water
Awesome

• Chuck Norris can hear in Mute

• Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

• The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

• Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

• Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

• Chuck Norris can whistle in 14 different languages.

• Chuck Norris can pass an eye exam.....blindfolded!

• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

• If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

• Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer

• Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.

• Chuck Norris once stared at the sun for hours... the sun then blinked.

• Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.

• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

• Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

• Chuck Norris can divide by zero

• Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

• Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.

=============================================


Big Smile

     
  2-Dec-13, 22:31   #9
  0 
Administrator 

Joined: Aug '07
Location: Malta
Age: 37 (M)
Posts: 7839
Posted by noonlion:
Posted by guffyman1:
#noonlion so pathetic person,i feel sorry about your family Sad


It was a chuck norris joke...chill out, it wasnt aimed at you or anyone in particular.

Actually a few users already complained about it, so I just deleted it to be on the safe side. Nothing personal Smile

     
  2-Dec-13, 22:39   #10
  +1 
guffyman1 

Joined: Dec '09
Location: Greece
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 99
#Peter7878 Thank you verry much about adding a new thred just for me buddy.I realy apritiate this and wanted to let you know it. Smile Thumbs Up

------------
#noonlion lets forget the misunderstood we had before and make a new start Thumbs Up
Thank you for posting a joke to my thread buddy,hope you'll keep on and post another joke here

     
  2-Dec-13, 22:42   #11
  0 
Peter7878 

Joined: Dec '12
Location: Bulgaria
Age: 40 (M)
Posts: 1022
Posted by guffyman1:
#Peter7878 Thank you verry much about adding a new thred just for me buddy.I realy apritiate this and wanted to let you know it. Smile Thumbs Up

------------
#noonlion lets forget the miunderstood we had before and make a new start Thumbs Up
Thank you for posting a joke to my thread buddy,hope you'll keep on and post another joke here


You are welcome! Blink

     
  3-Dec-13, 01:21   #12
  0 
hazeform 
Joined: Jan '11
Location: Germany
Age: 42 (M)
Posts: 506
what the heck....peter7878 !!!
you must be kidding....i can`t blive how many chuck norris jokes you know ?
maybe you only copy and past them from a google search ?
if not then you won the "biggest nerd" award for today. congratulations !!

@guffyman1: nice off-topic thread.i like it a lot but i don`t know any chuck norris jokes ...sorry !!
(maybe i am the biggest nerd ? who knows)

cheers Spade

     
  15-Dec-13, 01:33   #13
  +1 
Mikcav 

Joined: Sep '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 58 (M)
Posts: 6
I dunno any chuck Norris jokes but google this phrase " find chuck Norris " the top result is kinda funny Big Smile

     
  15-Dec-13, 12:06   #14
  0 
TheFarSeer 

Joined: Oct '09
Location: Portugal
Age: 45 (M)
Posts: 233
Thanks guffyman1 and Peter7878, this topic should last forever Smile. Or perhaps be turned into a poll, it would be nice to select the best Chuck Norris joke ever. I would vote for the rattlesnake one, or perhaps the one about how horses turned into girafs Big Smile

     
  15-Dec-13, 22:56   #15
  0 
guffyman1 

Joined: Dec '09
Location: Greece
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 99
Coming soon with a better surprise for all "Chuck Norris Jokes" lovers.
The idea came to me from mobster #TheFarSeer and i thank him.
As for now here's another one "Chuck Norris Joke"

-Chuck Norris donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never be his.

     
  17-Dec-13, 17:50   #16
  +2 
Peter7878 

Joined: Dec '12
Location: Bulgaria
Age: 40 (M)
Posts: 1022
Posted by Mikcav:
I dunno any chuck Norris jokes but google this phrase " find chuck Norris " the top result is kinda funny Big Smile



Hahaha! Big Smile Big Smile Big Smile

Attached ImagesNo Chuck Norris.png

     
  10-Mar-14, 09:21   #17
  0 
hazeform 
Joined: Jan '11
Location: Germany
Age: 42 (M)
Posts: 506
what the heck....peter7878 !!!
you must be kidding....i can`t blive how many chuck norris jokes you know ?
maybe you only copy and past them from a google search ?
if not then you won the "biggest nerd" award for today. congratulations !!

@guffyman1: nice off-topic thread.i like it a lot but i don`t know any chuck norris jokes ...sorry !!
(maybe i am the biggest nerd ? who knows)

cheers

Read more: http://www.bankrollmob.com/forum.asp?mode=thread&id...


Attached Images1902863_710185722345171_1026428240_n.jpg

     
  10-Mar-14, 10:05   #18
  0 
Don_Corleone 
Joined: Feb '14
Location: Portugal
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 20
AHAHAH You have a lot os jokes about Chuck Norris e in the website Chuck Norris Facts. like this Chuck Norris has been to all seven continents without traveling a mile Tongue

     
BankrollMob Forum » Off-Topic » Chuck Norris Jokes

 
Forum Rules | Support & FAQ

© 2016 BankrollMob.com - All Rights Reserved CONTACT | ABOUT | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS & CONDITIONS | NEWSLETTERS | AFFILIATES | REPORT SPAM | ADVERTISING
  Bookmark and Share