This fcuking mob calendar is killing me. Five times a day I click on the damn doors and get "You did not win this time" every time. This phrase became like a kind of mantra to me... like a motto of my life.
I suggest to my wife having sex and she declines. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I ask kids to clean their room and they say no. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I offer to my friend to have a drink and he says he is busy. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I want to take a crap but nothing comes out. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I ask for a salary raise and they say no. I say to myself "You did not win this time".
My life is going down the drain. Admin, change the phrase, please. And don't tell me "You did not win this time".
Joined: Mar '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 7371
Haha, great piece of writing and i know exactly how you feel at times. The world always seems to kick you in the teeth but then something unexpected happens and you feel a lot better. So just keep grinding on and something good will come along, it always does
Joined: May '13
Location: Mauritius
Age: 32 (M)
Posts: 2688
Haha yeah nicely worded and great dark humor lol. What we can do is rant and rant about not winning until the day we do. When we do we should celebrate with booze, hookers and other stuffs and when party over, we should rant and rant again until the next win lol.
Anyway good luck in those mini games, may lady luck be with you, next time it will show you have won something
Joined: Oct '10
Location: Canada
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 204
good funny post . your in the same postion im in never winning on the calendar.. But I have twice during last Christmas where I won a couple dollars on 24 hour poker. Anyways good luck man hope you win at some point id say u should..
Joined: Feb '12
Location: Canada
Age: 64 (M)
Posts: 6036
That is hilarious schmoyster dude... Thanks!,...needed a good laugh this morning...!
Hey,...it's bad enough when your WIFE refuses your advances,...but when your BUDDY doesn't even have the time for a drink with you,...well now, THAT hurts....
I can't solve ALL your problems,...but may I suggest: (pic below)
Edited by demodawggy (20 February 2014 @ 15:36 GMT)
Posted by demodawggy: I can't solve ALL your problems,...but may I suggest: (pic below)
I checked Russian online shops for that sheep exoskeleton or whatever it is that you suggested. They don't have it. Oh well... I did not win this time.
Joined: May '08
Location: Lithuania
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 10090
Hello wonderful mobster from Russia- schmoyster, this is pochui from Lithuania, somewhere near the sea writing to you, wish a good day and posting the following info:
epic thread dude you did win it this time
I am very happy to be a part of such a great community which has mobster schmoyster amongst it's ranks, wish you the best of luck at the tables, off the tables, behind the tables, under the tables and in your life in general. Yours truly pochui, somewhere near the sea, Lithuania.
Joined: Feb '12
Location: Canada
Age: 64 (M)
Posts: 6036
Posted by schmoyster:
Posted by demodawggy: I can't solve ALL your problems,...but may I suggest: (pic below)
I checked Russian online shops for that sheep exoskeleton or whatever it is that you suggested. They don't have it. Oh well... I did not win this time.
It's a life-size inflatable sheep sex-doll schmoyster... Probably for those folks who live in the big cities and have no access to REAL sheep, or don't want to risk catching some barn yard disease... But it's all a matter of preferrence I guess,...I don't know what you're in to...
...of course,...if you're NOT into that, then there is the 'Miley Cyrus' life size inflatable sex doll for some of that 'Twerking' action,...but I think I'd rather take my chances with the sheep.... < lol....
Joined: Nov '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 67 (M)
Posts: 3361
Posted by schmoyster: This fcuking mob calendar is killing me. Five times a day I click on the damn doors and get "You did not win this time" every time. This phrase became like a kind of mantra to me... like a motto of my life.
I suggest to my wife having sex and she declines. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I ask kids to clean their room and they say no. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I offer to my friend to have a drink and he says he is busy. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I want to take a crap but nothing comes out. I say to myself "You did not win this time". I ask for a salary raise and they say no. I say to myself "You did not win this time".
My life is going down the drain. Admin, change the phrase, please. And don't tell me "You did not win this time".
Joined: Feb '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 59 (M)
Posts: 5712
Fantastic piece of literary mastery here, so here is an alternative strap line that Admin could change the banner to.........
SUCKER! How many times have you tried? We've drawn you in to mindlessly clicking doors and windows each day on the banal expectation that you will win the equivalent of about 50c and still you keep coming back...... How desparate are you? But thank you for being part of the worlds best online poker community! Better luck next time (or the time after that, or the time after that etc!)
you did win it this time 
Probably for those folks who live in the big cities and have no access to REAL sheep, or don't want to risk catching some barn yard disease... 
