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  22-Feb-14, 17:51   #1
Funny poker quotes 0 
Joined: Mar '09
Location: Portugal
Age: 52 (M)
Posts: 1688
Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing." -Dutch Boyd

If you're playing a poker game and look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you - Paul Newman.

"In the poker game of life, women are the rake" - Worm (Ed Norton) in Rounders

The beautiful thing about poker is that everybody thinks they can play. Chris Moneymaker

"If there were no luck involved, I'd win every time." - Phil Hellmuth

  22-Feb-14, 18:09   #2
Joined: Jul '09
Location: Russian Federation
Age: 49 (M)
Posts: 772
I believe we already had a thread like this. And then My favorite quote was:

"That is an advanced poker play; He thinks Antonio raised him because Antonio thinks he has nothing, but then he thinks Antonio has nothing, so he comes over the top of Antonio's nothing with his nothing, you got that?"
Norman Chad

  22-Feb-14, 21:13   #3
Joined: Aug '13
Location: Czech Republic
Age: 23 (M)
Posts: 913
"Oh my good, why the f**k they do this to me??!!"
-ddblt1957 after losing with AA against A6o

  23-Feb-14, 10:26   #4

Joined: May '08
Location: Lithuania
Age: 34 (M)
Posts: 10089
Pug Pearson on Poker:
“The real things to know is that folks will stand to lose more than they will to win. That’s the most important percentage there is. I mean, if they lose, they’re willin’ to lose everything. If they win, they’re usually satisfied to win enough to pay for dinner and a show. The best gamblers know that.”

  23-Feb-14, 12:47   #5
Joined: Mar '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 50 (M)
Posts: 7248
I always like to read these sort of things and i hope people post some more on here. I have always liked the one about if you cant recognise the fish on the table you must be the fish. How true this quote is

  23-Feb-14, 14:51   #6

Joined: Mar '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 34 (M)
Posts: 1277
'Know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run'

Source unknown. Rumours say he has a white beard and plays guitar.

  2-Mar-14, 20:27   #7
Joined: Jan '14
Location: Netherlands
Age: 28 (M)
Posts: 508
I like the last one av1966, it's true to me! Big Smile Smile

  3-Mar-14, 16:28   #8

Joined: Dec '12
Location: Bulgaria
Age: 42 (M)
Posts: 1022
My favourite poker quotes are of Isaac Haxton:

Quotes by Isaac Haxton:

1. The wide-eyed awe guy

When this guy hears that I'm a professional poker player, his response is something along the lines of, "Woooooooowwwww, you play poker? For a living? You make money doing that? You don't have another job? Wooooooowwwww, that's so cool! Are you famous? Have you been on tv? How many times have you been on tv? Have you won the World Series yet? Are you friends with what's-his-face, the really loud, annoying one? Do you know that other guy, the black guy who wins all the time? Is it like James Bond? Do you wear a tuxedo? Do you ever lose? How much money do you make? Can you teach me how to play?" And on and on and on until the cab ride is over or I find a way to extricate myself from the conversation.

2. The I know better guy

This guy tends to fire off a few follow up questions to make sure he heard me right, like, "You gamble for a living? In casinos? And you think you can make money doing that? How long have you been at it now?" Then the questions get even more pointed: "So how much have you made exactly? And you don't have another job? You must not have a family to support. Do you have rich parents? Where does the money come from? Right, you win sometimes, but I mean when you lose, where does that money come from?" And then I get the lecture. "You know you're going to start losing eventually, right? What are you going to do then? Do you ever think about that? When are you going to stop? You better quit while you're still ahead. I had a cousin who lost all his money gambling and he's in jail now. You don't want to end up like him. What does your wife say? Man, if I quit my job and told my wife I was going to gamble for a living, she'd kill me, or leave me, probably both!" Sometimes they're a little more tactful and say things like, "Haha, well, you never know, I mean, you COULD keep winning, nothing's impossible..." That guy's always a delight to deal with.

3. The I don't get it guy

This guy is someone for whom the words "professional poker player" just do not compute. He asks questions like, "Wait, poker? You play poker? Like, the game? As a job? Really? How do you... what do you... where do you go to work? Like, where do you go in the morning? What kinds of hours do you work? Do you get weekends off? Who pays you to do that?" And he'll keep going like that until he eventually gives up trying to understand, scratches his head, look at me in puzzlement, and then wanders away. That guy isn't so bad. He always gives up after a little while and tends not to lecture.

4. The I played poker once, too guy

This guy hears the word poker and immediately needs to tell me all about his own experiences with the game, like how he goes on a cruise every year where they have poker and one time he won, and this other time he lost, and then there was this one time when he almost won but then he lost... Or there's the guy who loves poker but has the WORST LUCK and has to tell me every single bad beat story he can remember... and he remembers them all. But my favorites out of this category are the conspiracy theorists, the guys who are certain that poker is rigged because they lost a hand once... and it was aces! The dealer was out to get him or the online poker sites are all a scam... it's the only way it makes any sense! I mean, he had aces! How could he lose if it wasn't all a giant conspiracy? That guy's the best.

Source: The BankrollMob

  3-Mar-14, 17:10   #9
Joined: May '13
Location: Mauritius
Age: 27 (M)
Posts: 2688
yeah loves those quotes, when you are down it can helps you, brighten your day, I read some quotes from time to time when my mindset not good, so as to get back on the feet and get that extra motivation to continue playing or to keep improving. Anyway hope you guys can get some motivation out of those quotes.

I like chinese ones, they full of wisdom and can help you in other area than poker!

  3-Mar-14, 18:29   #10

Joined: Mar '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 34 (M)
Posts: 1277
A recent classic I think you'll all agree, "I fold aces on the bubble.." by demodawgydogg.

I find it funny, but also more than that, know I'm up against these kind of players Cool

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