Joined: May '12
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 33 (M)
"This blog entry won't contain any references to poker and I make no apology for that"
A lot less controversial this time I think - Hard to argue with any points you have made.... So I won't. Other than to say there are occasionally exceptions... Sometimes parents that have done everything they can to ensure their kids grow up to be fine people, end up with criminal little shits and on the flip side, some parents who do nothing to help or stimulate their kids end up with fine, upstanding members of society...
Maybe much of the problem lies in that the skill set required to become a parent by no means matches the skill set required to be a (good) parent.
Why should children suffer their actual parents, rather than some surrogate parent with the proper skills/qualifications, that could actually do a good job? After all, matters pertaining to our health, are best left to professionals (dentists, surgeons and the like...), not just two random idiots that managed to conceive...
Maybe boarding school wasn't such a bad idea in principle...
Joined: May '13
Age: 27 (M)
Yeah i don't mind if the blog does not contain anything about poker because it is sometimes good to come on the forum and not read about poker after we just got out of a bad table or a bad hand. It lets us not remember about the bad beat and have fun reading other stuffs. Anyway yeah we have bad parents and it is unavoidable as some of the parents never had a good example and so it goes to their kids and when they parents themselves they tends to do what their parents did. Yeah confusing i know lol.
Joined: Feb '11
Location: United States
Age: 52 (M)
I like your post IceQueenAce. I think you points are correct. Best thing you can do for kids is teach them to read, then makes sure they do as often as they can. You can teach them to think by discussing what they have read. It's really just that simple. Visual and audio input is fine but it should come after the reading and thinking have been established.
Joined: May '08
Age: 33 (M)
yeah good parenting doesn't cost more, actually it is not even connected in anyhow to money. sure you can buy more of this and more of thsat to your child if you have deep pockets, but it's not gonna help creating a deeper bond between of you. not surprised by the amount of poor parents- lots of people can't even take care of their pets properly, not even talking about children
Joined: Apr '09
Age: 38 (M)
Poor people don't mean poor future for their childre, that is so true. You can testify with hundreads of examples in Portugal where parents invested on their son's future so it could be better than their present life (this, in the 50's, 60's abd 70's from XX Century) and they become competent doctours, some of them recognized world wide, and with the chance of giving a promising fute for their children with sustainability for them. But unfortunately there's still people who only wants children to be able to ask more money to the Government in the form of complementary funds, but they opt to love only with this money without working and they don't teach good things to their children...
Joined: Sep '13
Location: Bosnia and Herzegovina
Age: 31 (M)
now that was interesting read, but i kinda disagree about parents being the most responsible ones for todays kids behavior. today we live in a society that tries to take control of parenting (away from parents) so much that soon enough parents wont have a say on their childrens future, at all. so cant really put all the bllame on parents either (not that much anyways).
sure, there are bad parents, and there always will be bad parents but there were bad parents in the past too and kids didnt behave the way they do now. they know they are untouchable, and dont really respond to anyone, so its only natural they are abusing that system. cant say i blame them either, i would probably do the same if i was able to
Joined: Feb '13
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 42 (F)
Posted by Theapple: now that was interesting read, but i kinda disagree about parents being the most responsible ones for todays kids behavior. today we live in a society that tries to take control of parenting (away from parents) so much that soon enough parents wont have a say on their childrens future, at all. so cant really put all the bllame on parents either (not that much anyways).
I don't think that is true.
Parents have just as much control as they always did, they just chose to relinquish that control and blame others.
Joined: Nov '09
Age: 49 (M)
From what I remember about you IQA, you are a teacher and so you get a lot of respect from me as I imagine this job has become tougher than ever. My two kids are nearly finished with elementary school (yes, the little mahdrofs came late into my life), and I find things are so different these days vs. when I was little. I have also volunteered some of my time for the past 36 consecutive months to work with kids between coaching soccer (football for the rest of the world) in the summer, and Scouts for the other three season. These are my views:
First of all, a lot more kids seem to be born with medical issues than ever before. My first year in Scouts we had a child with severe ADHD, one with autism, one with aspergers and another who if he didn't take certain meds was an absolute mess. I feel that environmental pollutants, hormones in meat, vegetables that make their own pesticides, and anything plastic which touches food and IMO is releasing harmful substances into that food, are all partially to blame not only for readily identifiable conditions like autism but also for other behaviours.
Secondly, a lot of parents put themselves ahead of their children. I agree that it is easy to come home after a long day, plunk them in front of the TV to let them watch questionable programs so that you can have a break, but what kind of behaviours are they learning from watching these shows? Globalization has led to increased competition for work, longer hours at work and work interfering with our home time, but if we are not ready to put that aside and interact with our children in the precious hours that we have together, why have kids in the first place? My wife was a daycare worker when we met, and we both felt that our kids should be raised at home by us and not by somebody else at a daycare, that says a lot. Not everyone has that choice though.
Thirdly, we live in a world that has lost a lot of respect and compassion for each other. I see it in the way people drive, the way people talk to each other and treat each other. As a volunteer in kids activities I have been given a hard time over small issues on several occasions, people act towards me as if I am getting paid! While driving I will see crazy manoeuvres that endanger everyone just to get in front of the car ahead of them. At times it just seems to go on and on and there doesn't seem to be a lot of kindness left.
Lastly, a lot of people refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. If I go through the drive-through and get a coffee and am stupid enough to place it between my legs and it spills and burns me, I am going to think "Why the hell did you do that?" Other people will turn around and sue because the coffee is too hot, so now we have legal disclaimers EVERYWHERE! My favourite legal disclaimer was the one on the cardboard sun visor I used to have for my car, where you place it across the inside of your windshield to keep the interior from burning up: "REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING AWAY" OMFG! No fcuking s**t you have to remove it! But by extending this attitude of lack of responsibility across everything people do, they are not responsible for their s**tty job, s**tty place, their own appearance, and certainly not for their children, why can't the teacher set them straight? Right? Isn't that their job?
People have to take control of their own lives and bring their best to what they do, and if you are going to have kids be ready to place them ahead of you or later in life you are going to have a rough ride. Mahdrof out.
Edited by mahdrof (Saturday, September 27, 2014 @ 11:13 GMT)
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