Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
Hi all. I have several life ambitions but despite being a very ambitious person I'm not very self-motivated. I spend my time playing poker and doing other unproductive things rather than concentrating on my plans. I'm a student at the moment and I want to be a director/film maker. I've also always wanted to write. But instead of getting on with it, I spend most of my free time playing poker or talking about it here.
So I thought why not combine them. I need the motivation to write so here's my plan. I will post my fictional narrative in this thread in parts. If you'd like to read please do and give me your thoughts good or bad. You can also challenge me to fit a word, any word you like, into the next part as I'm writing each part after I post the last one, and I have to try and seamlessly get it in. One word per each member only. I will also try and post four parts a week of at least 200 words each part unless I get so many thumbs down that I think I'd better concentrate my time elsewhere.
Part 1 The saloon doors swung open and three men entered. None of them were displaying any weapons but from their appearance and their confident demeanor, it was clear that all three were packing enough lead to shoot every man in the bar three times over. The most fierce looking of the trio, smiled gruesomely and displayed his gold plated tooth for the strangers and everyone there instantly knew who the notorious gunslinger was.
The three men approached the table where the only man in the place who had expected their visit sat nervously clutching a glass of whisky. The petrified local gulped loudly and averted his eyes from the three men to his drink shivering in his shaking hand. He tried to sink it but missed the edge of his mouth. A few drops fell to his lap and he stood up impulsively.
‘Not going anywhere are we Tom?’ came a familiar scary voice. ‘I thought we had a game planned.’
Thomas the mule McKinney looked up into the eyes of his nemesis and shuddered as though it were the first time he looked into those deep, cold eyes. How he cursed himself for getting himself into this situation, how he wanted to shout the deals off and run from his fate but he knew now he had to be a man. He had to put everything on the line in one single game and prey it was his lucky day. Forget the past now and play for the future he told himself. Yesterday he was the biggest donkey in the West, today he was playing for more than money; he was playing for love.
‘No. Of course Goldy. I’m not going anyhere. Let’s play poker.’
Joined: Dec '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 42 (M)
Posts: 2087
Posted by dozn01: wow really good well done can i be in this story
would be even better if you could put some of us lot in the story, to make it funny
lol thats a good idea would be well funny, lol thats a nice word B1foot i bet u use that often looking forward to the rest of this story i will come back with a word soon
Edited by Flippedchips (28 March 2010 @ 17:52 GMT)
Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
Here's part two and I'm afraid it's quite long but I wanted to get to the get the rest of the story I'd already thought of this morning. I have no idea where part 3 is going though. Was really hard to get the words in but they are sorta there and I'm hoping for some shorter more common words for the next part. I had to change some things but maybe there are some names hidden in there too.
Part 2 Goldy Bolton pulled up a chair and set a deck of old but fine brown cards down on the table. One of his companions, a tall fellow that went by the name of Jim Ollie Brown, took the chair to his right and pulled out of his coat pocket the finest polished ivory chips. The third man seemed to have no interest in joining the game and instead went to stand at the bar behind Thomas.
Thomas eyed him suspiciously, still feeling very uncomfortable about the whole situation and not knowing whether he could trust the notorious gang. Goldy was staring at him coldly from directly opposite, not speaking or moving but apparently waiting on Thomas. The cards were there ready to be inspected; seemingly it wouldn’t be considered impolite for the game members to check the cards before beginning and yet Thomas knew that insulting Goldy would probably be most unwise. He therefore collected the cards and checked them over quite quickly while he forced himself to ask the important question.
‘If I win this game, that’s it right? The debt's settled and you let Jane go?’
‘If you somehow manage to beat both of us’ Goldy sniggered. ‘I’ll take the pot and I’ll let your gal go. But if you lose, I’ll give you one more week to get all the cash you owe me or that’s it. And as for you gal, well she ain’t no longer gonna be your gal. So do we have a deal.’
‘How do I know how I can trust you? What’s to say you won’t just shoot me if I win?’
‘Tom. I’m offended you’d think that of us. But you’ve got nothing to fear; there ain’t no gun powder in my gun. It’s the god honest truth.’
Thomas knew better than to trust a gunslinger but it did not matter since there were other things that could be used for gunpowder. It was in any case too late to back out. Jim was already shuffling but no sooner had the game of stud began than a familiar but unwelcome face entered the saloon. It was none other than Freddie the fixer who was partial to a game of cards but never welcomed by the locals who knew the deceitful chancer. This was the last person Thomas wanted to see since he was currently in debt of a favour to the cheeky scoundrel.
It was perhaps unavoidable but very unfortunate that Freddie became the forth member of the game. After a dozen and one hands the cards were dealt, perhaps more by fate than by any player, for what would be the last hand in this short game. The betting in this hand had been particularly high and concluded in a three-way showdown. Thomas looked down at his queens full of aces hoping with all his might that it was enough. When Goldy turned over a king high straight he was sure that at last his luck had changed. All eyes went to Freddie.
‘Darn it. I’m out. I’ve got trip aces’ he said turning his cards over.
Thomas’ heart sank. What could he do now? He stared at them. One, two, three aces. With his two there were five aces in the deck. How on earth could he explain this to Goldy? He couldn’t tell them Freddie was a known cheat since he hadn’t mentioned it before they invited him to the game. He looked down at the tiny amount of chips that remained and sighed as he threw his cards face down and said ‘Beats me too.’
‘Are you sure? You don’t look too certain of that.’ Goldy’s suspicions had been raised by the time it took Thomas to answer. Before Thomas could do anything to stop him, the third member of the gang Jessie, reached over his shoulder and flipped over the cards. In slow motion, Thomas saw Goldy stand up and reach for his gun. Staring down the barrel he barely heard the bang but he felt the force hit him hard in the chest.
There was a few seconds or maybe a few hours of darkness. Thomas felt the incredible pain subside and he opened his eyes. As his blurred vision began to focus he saw a big foot. He looked up to see a face he did not know peering down at him. Sitting up he was amazed to find he was no longer in the saloon.
‘Who are you?’ he asked the stranger.
‘I have no name’ he replied ‘but you can call me what you wish. Think of me as a friend for that is what I am. I am wetter than water, lighter than air, denser then lead, more explosive than haloxyline. I am the vegetarian barbarian antidisestablishmentarian but more than all this I am your lucky day.'
Joined: Oct '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 43 (M)
Posts: 1086
antidisestablishmentarian ITT
I like the storey awood88, as I do most of your posts but, I can't help but feel that part 2 jumps around a tad too much. I'm sure the next instalment will explain all.
[x] suspence over godlike (maybe navaho indian) character.
Joined: Nov '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 47 (M)
Posts: 2194
Crack on pal... if you want to write a story im sure people here will afford you the tim eto read it. I for 1 will read what you have to write and if it gets dull or stupid or if I realyy like iot you will get a post back to tell you... cant be much fairer than that. Goo deffort so far, I hope you dont struggle to much getting the words in.. Good job there with haloxyline...lol What about trying to get Triboluminescence:
I'll let you know what it means shall I...? Yeah corse "" Emission of light caused by friction. Good luck, hahahaha
Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
Thanks for all the compliments guys. Here's part 3. Probly won't be posting part 4 until Thursday or maybe Wednesday night if I get a chance. Enjoy
Part 3 Confusion swept through Thomas and not least because he didn’t understand anything the unnamed stranger was saying. The ground beneath him was covered in grass and above him the sky could be seen where the ceiling of the saloon was seemingly moments ago.
‘Am I in heaven?’ he thought to himself. As he glanced around his surroundings he saw miles and miles of fields and no sign of civilisation. He turned to the only visible life form sharing this world.
‘Am I dead?’ he asked.
‘Dead? How can you be dead when you are talking?’ came the reply.
‘Then where am I? What happened to the bar? How did I get here?’ Thomas pressed.
The man he was addressing was old with a trimmed grey beard. He wore a rather smart suit with a fine handkerchief peeking out from his jacket pocket. He looked a thousand dollars. In his fingers he twirled a shiny gold coin.
‘I brought you here. It was all I could do to save you. But where you are exactly I cannot say. You are nowhere.’
‘Well thank you for saving me but I really need to get back. So if you could just point out the way…’
‘I’m afraid you can’t go back there.’
This was all very confusing for the poor cowboy from Nevada. Whether he was dead, alive or somewhere in between he did not know. But what he cared about more than anything was whether he’d get back to rescue Jane from the captivity of Goldy and his comrades. One thing was certain; he was not going to stay here, wherever here was.
‘Look, I really need you to take me back. I mean if I can’t go back to where you found me, can you put me somewhere close? I need to get home.’
There was no reply. There was just silence but the old man seemed to be thinking. He stopped twirling his coin and began to rub it between his thumb and finger. Thomas saw now that the coin was in fact like a poker chip he’d been using not so long ago only it was golden. The man began to rub it harder and it even began to glow. Thomas could not help but be captivated by the golden coin, which shone brighter and brighter. It seemed to give off a sweet light, radiating a golden shimmer in a way that was not possible. The source of this light was not clear, some form of triboluminescence perhaps or an optical illusion, reflection from a sun that was not seen in the vast open sky. And then the old man threw the golden chip in the air and as it twirled it alternated between the side of the coin that was glowing brightly and the other side that was shining like plain gold; bright by most metal standards but nothing like the fore mentioned shine. Thomas watched as the shiny chip reached its peak height and came falling downward to earth, never taking his eyes off it. And just before the spinning chip hit the grassy ground the brightest side was facing down but there was just enough time to make one final flip. In a second even slower than the previous slowest second of his life, Thomas watched the glow grow like a sunrise on the earth. He stared amazed at its beauty for the flipped chip was brighter than ever, so bright that it hurt his eyes and he had to look away.
When he looked up he saw thousands more bright lights, lights everywhere, bright against the dark night sky. And when he looked around him there were people everywhere. So many unusual sights and sounds he thought for a second he may be in hell. But he was not of course. He was but a nineteenth century cowboy in modern Las Vegas.
Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
Since I haven't had any more words from you guys I decided to give myself a challenge for part 4 but I am not going to tell you what it was. Words are still welcome but I would also like your interesting poker hands for the next part. I'm going to take a poker hand from the hand histories forum and include it in either part 5 or 6. Please don't post your hands in this thread, I'll find them in the forum.
Here's part 4 for those who are still interested.
Part 4 Bit by bit, Thomas took in this new strange world. As he scanned his surroundings he wondered where on Earth he was. Nevada seemed a million miles away. Knowing nothing of modern times, Thomas couldn’t begin to describe this bright, exciting city but had he any cultural knowledge of the last two hundred years he may have drawn comparisons to having travelled over the rainbow. Rainbows were not far from his mind as Thomas took in all the bright colours of the city. Of course at the end of any rainbow, they say, is a pot of gold. Las Vegas was full of people seeking theirs but Thomas was not far from his fortune. Luck was never something Thomas had much of but all that was about to change.
Many hours later Thomas had almost forgotten that he was far from home. Of course he was still very cautious but his urgency to get home had faded due to his curiosity. By the time he found his way into his first casino, he’d started to feel as though he’d found a new home. Due to the near impossibility of telling the time in Vegas, Thomas had no idea how long he’d been exploring or any clue what time it was. Only, when he did manage to find a clock in the city, it was not the time that surprised him the most. The date beneath the clock was what completely astounded him. Closeness was no longer a factor in his journey home for if the date he saw was right, almost two hundred years had lapsed since that costly game of poker with Goldy Bolton and Jimmy Brown. Over and over he read it, scarcely believing that he had travelled to the year 2020, and yet everything he saw in this strange place told him that it was the truth. Maybe he would have to spend the rest of his days here and if so it wasn’t the worst place to live his life, if not for the despairingly apparent fact that as long as he stayed here there was no chance to see his precious Jane again.
