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  3-May-10, 15:15   #1
i heard that "Jokes are allowed" 0   
done8989 
Joined: Apr '10
Location: Romania
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 14
And i haven't seen a joke thread so this is what i'm doing.

1.
A radio station was running a competition – words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”
DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”
Caller: “Goan… spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ‘go-an’.”
DJ: “You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller: “Goan f**k yourself!”

The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

DJ: “96 FM, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi, me name’s Jeff.”
DJ: “Jeff, what’s your word?”
Caller: “Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ‘smee’.”
DJ: “You are correct, Jeff, ‘smee’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller: “Smee again! Goan f**k yourself!”

     
  3-May-10, 15:27   #2
  0   
tongerlo 
Joined: Apr '08
Location: Denmark
Age: 48 (M)
Posts: 217
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

     
  3-May-10, 15:59   #3
  0   
Y2k87 
Joined: Oct '09
Location: Germany
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 53
hahaha thats a good one
rofl

     
  3-May-10, 16:28   #4
  0   
T3ddyKGB 

Joined: Oct '08
Location: Germany
Age: 45 (M)
Posts: 2023
LOL good one. read it 3mins ago and im still laughing Big Smile Big Smile

     
  3-May-10, 18:19   #5
  0   
xxxbchxxx 

Joined: Nov '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 43 (M)
Posts: 2194
funny but Blink

     
  3-May-10, 21:22   #6
  0   
done8989 
Joined: Apr '10
Location: Romania
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 14
but you can post another one .. funnier

     
  4-May-10, 09:46   #7
  0   
$k 

Joined: Nov '09
Location: Australia
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 715
thats awsome !!!

     
  4-May-10, 11:46   #8
  0   
ciango 
Joined: Jan '10
Location: Poland
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 28
haha, i can read this over and over again,

funny Smile

thx for post Smile

     
  4-May-10, 12:38   #9
  0   
pmmalmeida 

Joined: Nov '09
Location: Portugal
Age: 42 (M)
Posts: 49
HEHEHEHE That's nice Thumbs Up

Keep it up!!! Blink

     
  4-May-10, 18:06   #10
  0   
done8989 
Joined: Apr '10
Location: Romania
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 14
Women Jokes:

- What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
- Slow down and use a lubricant.

- What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
- Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your [w]HOLE weak.

- How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
- None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

- Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called
"waist"?
- Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

from here: http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/Women_Jokes.html


     
  4-May-10, 20:40   #11
  +1   
Davoodoo 

Joined: Apr '08
Location: Finland
Age: 31 (M)
Posts: 1613
Whats the difference between praying in church and praying in a casino ?


In a casino you really mean it ...

     
  5-May-10, 01:10   #12
  +1   
oll1e999 

Joined: Jun '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 29 (M)
Posts: 483
I bought my ex girlfriend a cook book called 'cheap and easy vegetarian cooking' which was perfect for her because not only is she vegetarian....

I have often wanted to drown my troubles....but I cant get the mother in law to go swimming

one day I saw 6 guys beating the up the mother in law, my wife said 'arent you going to help?' I said 'no, 6 should be enough'

A young girl went to confessions and said 'forgive me father for I have sinned'
priest: 'what have you done?'
gir: I called a man a son of a bitch
priest: why?
girl: he touched my hand
priest: like this? (he grabs her hand) thats no reason to call a man a son of a bitch
girl: yes but then he threw me to the floor
priest: like this? (he throws her to the floor) you still shouldnt of called him a son of a bitch
girl: but then he stripped me
preist: like this? (he rips her clothes off) you still shouldnt of called him a son of a bitch
girl:but then he stuck his penis in me
priest: like this? (puts his penis in her) you still shouldnt of called him that
girl: but he has aids
priest: THAT SON OF A BITCH!

     
  5-May-10, 04:40   #13
  0   
fcumred 

Joined: Apr '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 50 (M)
Posts: 1238
Posted by done8989:
And i haven't seen a joke thread so this is what i'm doing.

1.
A radio station was running a competition ? words that weren?t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: ?96 FM here, what?s your name??
Caller: ?Hi, my name?s Dave.?
DJ: ?Dave, what?s your word??
Caller: ?Goan? spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ?go-an?.?
DJ: ?You are correct, Dave, ?goan? is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense??
Caller: ?Goan f**k yourself!?

The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

DJ: ?96 FM, what?s your name??
Caller: ?Hi, me name?s Jeff.?
DJ: ?Jeff, what?s your word??
Caller: ?Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ?smee?.?
DJ: ?You are correct, Jeff, ?smee? is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense??
Caller: ?Smee again! Goan f**k yourself!?



Why would you run a competition where people would use sentences with words that are NOT in the dictionary....

If a word doesnt exist then theres no sentence on earth that would make any sense with that word in it.

     
  5-May-10, 04:49   #14
  0   
jessthehuman 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 6482
Posted by fcumred:
Posted by done8989:
And i haven't seen a joke thread so this is what i'm doing.

1.
A radio station was running a competition ? words that weren?t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: ?96 FM here, what?s your name??
Caller: ?Hi, my name?s Dave.?
DJ: ?Dave, what?s your word??
Caller: ?Goan? spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ?go-an?.?
DJ: ?You are correct, Dave, ?goan? is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense??
Caller: ?Goan f**k yourself!?

The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

DJ: ?96 FM, what?s your name??
Caller: ?Hi, me name?s Jeff.?
DJ: ?Jeff, what?s your word??
Caller: ?Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ?smee?.?
DJ: ?You are correct, Jeff, ?smee? is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense??
Caller: ?Smee again! Goan f**k yourself!?



Why would you run a competition where people would use sentences with words that are NOT in the dictionary....

If a word doesnt exist then theres no sentence on earth that would make any sense with that word in it.


smeg knows

     
  5-May-10, 20:54   #15
  0   
done8989 
Joined: Apr '10
Location: Romania
Age: 30 (M)
Posts: 14
Now I will tell you one of the funniest romanian short jokes:

Bula enters a bar with a s**t in his hand and says:
- Man, look what i was about to step !

(I hope I translated well)

     
  7-May-10, 17:42   #16
  0   
jporp 

Joined: Aug '09
Location: Portugal
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 411
LOOOOOOOOOOL

Very funny

     
  7-May-10, 20:41   #17
  0   
dozn01 

Joined: Sep '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 41 (M)
Posts: 5000
this forum has gone to pot ............ Aww crap! Aww crap!

     
  7-May-10, 20:57   #18
  0   
Davoodoo 

Joined: Apr '08
Location: Finland
Age: 31 (M)
Posts: 1613
Tom 2 Swedes and a Finn are enjoying a sauna when suddenly the Finn lets out an extremely noisy fart.

The Swedes look at each other and laugh, "Did you hear that Claus, he's still a virgin!"

     
  12-May-10, 20:54   #19
  0   
munkro 
Joined: Jul '09
Location: Canada
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 6
hahahahahahaha

     
  12-May-10, 21:30   #20
  0   
KingYertle 
Joined: Apr '10
Location: Netherlands
Age: 41 (M)
Posts: 9
And the trip to Baki ????

     
  12-May-10, 22:01   #21
  0   
Germoney80 

Joined: Aug '09
Location: Germany
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 11
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

“You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to
sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome
to heaven!”

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?”

Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.” Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few
strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and
says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?”

George W. looks bewildered and says, “Who are Einstein and Picasso?”

Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, George.”

     
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