Joined: Jan '10
Location: Australia
Age: 43 (M)
Posts: 34
- Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spot a hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money? - ??? - The stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don’t exist.
Here is a good joke : A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you d**k is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
Joined: May '09
Location: Croatia
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 20405
Posted by fini: Hi!
Here is a good joke : A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you d**k is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
!very good joke,nice post!and the first one from r3dr0cks is good!
Joined: Oct '09
Location: Spain
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 2851
How about this one:
A busty blonde sat down at a table in a Las Vegas casino. "I hope you don't mind," she said, "but I play better when I'm naked." She then proceeded to undress. On the very first hand, after some heavy betting, she was head's-up in a monster pot. After the dealer turned over the river card, she flipped her hand over, jumped out of her seat and started screaming, "I won! I won! I won!" The dealer, flustered, pushed her the pot. "What'd she have?" the loser asked the dealer. "I don't know," the dealer said. "I thought YOU were watching."
Poor guy A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
This was just another good joke that didn't make me smyle 
