Joined: Mar '10
Age: 51 (M)
Maybe he's got a Freddy Krueger mask on that's why they're all so afraid of him... anyway, Chuck would never lose any running for these guys, he' d eliminate 'em all with subliminal messages from inside his ab-flex-pro tv commercials....
Hi! There are 4 good jokes here: The 01. - Everything would fall down onto 500 years here if we would give vote to Chuck Norris... The 02. - Chuck Norris tear heals it the rákot...Csak that trouble that Chuck Norris is never crying... The 03. - A god created the world under 6 days. After Chuck Norris created it god. The 04. - Chuck Norris does not grow old. The land rejuvenates.
and +6: The 05. - Chuck Norris does not strain himself by lifting push-up. Chuck Norris pushes the land below. The 06. - Mona Lisa smiles because of Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris smiles because of Bandi The 07. - Chuck Norris never catches sunstroke. The day will be badly if Chuck Norris looks at it long. The 08. - Chuck Norris promised not to stain to spring out from an airplane. Single Grand Canyon just burns. The 09. - Chuck Norris no lives worse than 4 of his years! The 10. - The original title of the Bible: Chuck Norris and Bandi
Hi all! 1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. 4839 votes | comment | send to friend 2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. 4454 votes | comment | send to friend 3. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. 4329 votes | comment | send to friend 4. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. 4322 votes | comment | send to friend 5. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage. 4300 votes | comment
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield
After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Joined: Aug '10
Age: 41 (M)
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard.” Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted fourteen seconds.