Joined: Oct '09
Location: Spain
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 2851
One morning, a man woke up to hear a voice whispering to him, saying, "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
Thinking it odd but not giving it much thought, he goes on about his day. But then at work, while on his lunch break, he hears the voice again: "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice again. But soon he begins to hear it over and over, throughout the day, for two straight weeks: "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
"Alright! Alright! I'll do it!" he finally shouts at the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, and catches the next flight to Vegas. Once there, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe casino," so he does.
When he gets there, the voice tells him, "Take your money and buy a seat in the WSOP." Ten thousand dollars later he's got his seat at the World Series of Poker, and the first hand he's dealt is As Ad.
"Go all-in," the voice tells him, so he does. Three other players at the table call him, and the dealers lays out the flop, 8h 9h 10h.
Joined: May '10
Location: Romania
Age: 32 (M)
Posts: 279
Posted by IslandJack: One morning, a man woke up to hear a voice whispering to him, saying, "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
Thinking it odd but not giving it much thought, he goes on about his day. But then at work, while on his lunch break, he hears the voice again: "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice again. But soon he begins to hear it over and over, throughout the day, for two straight weeks: "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
"Alright! Alright! I'll do it!" he finally shouts at the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, and catches the next flight to Vegas. Once there, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe casino," so he does.
When he gets there, the voice tells him, "Take your money and buy a seat in the WSOP." Ten thousand dollars later he's got his seat at the World Series of Poker, and the first hand he's dealt is As Ad.
"Go all-in," the voice tells him, so he does. Three other players at the table call him, and the dealers lays out the flop, 8h 9h 10h.
Joined: Apr '08
Location: Finland
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1613
Posted by Supererou:
Posted by IslandJack: One morning, a man woke up to hear a voice whispering to him, saying, "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
Thinking it odd but not giving it much thought, he goes on about his day. But then at work, while on his lunch break, he hears the voice again: "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice again. But soon he begins to hear it over and over, throughout the day, for two straight weeks: "Quit your job, sell your house, and take all your money to Las Vegas."
"Alright! Alright! I'll do it!" he finally shouts at the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, and catches the next flight to Vegas. Once there, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe casino," so he does.
When he gets there, the voice tells him, "Take your money and buy a seat in the WSOP." Ten thousand dollars later he's got his seat at the World Series of Poker, and the first hand he's dealt is As Ad.
"Go all-in," the voice tells him, so he does. Three other players at the table call him, and the dealers lays out the flop, 8h 9h 10h.
"Damn," says the voice.
Then the turn is A and river A
tough luck you were beat by a flopped straight flush ...
Joined: Oct '09
Location: Spain
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 2851
Posted by Myeng: You have it from pokervisie no? Anyway when I read this one in the magazine I laughed a lot
It wasn´t Pokervisie, but thx for the tip.
Was just looking around a bunch of sites with Poker jokes, and i thought it was time for one here. Need those once in a while to "soften up" the Bad Beats, no?
Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
Ok. So this may make me sound retarded but I need someone to explain to me how this is a joke.
Not one part of it made me laugh. Maybe lost in translation or is this what passes for humour on the continent?
According to Jimmy Carr who is a legendary comedian, jokes work cos they twist what is expected. There's no punchline to this joke, no turning point. So he gets a bad flop for pocket aces with three callers. Nothing unusual/unexpected about that.
So unless there's a twist I'm missing, such as we find out the source of the voice or we find out the identity of the man, then this may be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard. Am I being stupid or what?
Joined: Dec '09
Location: Belgium
Age: 32 (M)
Posts: 133
Posted by awood88: Ok. So this may make me sound retarded but I need someone to explain to me how this is a joke.
Not one part of it made me laugh. Maybe lost in translation or is this what passes for humour on the continent?
According to Jimmy Carr who is a legendary comedian, jokes work cos they twist what is expected. There's no punchline to this joke, no turning point. So he gets a bad flop for pocket aces with three callers. Nothing unusual/unexpected about that.
So unless there's a twist I'm missing, such as we find out the source of the voice or we find out the identity of the man, then this may be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard. Am I being stupid or what?
Sorry if this offends anyone.
Well when I read it in dutch I found it more funny, there were indeed some other accents that aren't here in the translation. Btw nothing unexpected in the joke? If you read it good it's still quite funny I believe, but hey that's a taste.
Joined: Mar '10
Location: Greece
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 505
Posted by IslandJack: "Go all-in," the voice tells him, so he does. Three other players at the table call him, and the dealers lays out the flop, 8h 9h 10h.
"Damn," says the voice.
AHAHA!!... If I was the voice I'd say "errm, I think you heard the part where I told you to save some bucks for the cab back to your hotel room, eh?"
Posted by awood88: Ok. So this may make me sound retarded but I need someone to explain to me how this is a joke.
Not one part of it made me laugh. Maybe lost in translation or is this what passes for humour on the continent?
According to Jimmy Carr who is a legendary comedian, jokes work cos they twist what is expected. There's no punchline to this joke, no turning point. So he gets a bad flop for pocket aces with three callers. Nothing unusual/unexpected about that.
So unless there's a twist I'm missing, such as we find out the source of the voice or we find out the identity of the man, then this may be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard. Am I being stupid or what?
Sorry if this offends anyone.
Hmm... Actually it's very funny... In each one of those stories with a voice commanding someone to do the right thing, we are expecting to hear that the voice was always right at the end. But here, this is not the case, the voice actually sounds like someone that wanted desperately to go play the WSOP and try to impress everyone with a stunning first hand All-in... and just when you think you'll hear that the guys Aces won big, it's that shitty flop and "Damn!" But hey, it's just a matter of taste, maybe not everybody finds it funny...
Lol i found it pretty funny, gave me a nice lil chuckle after a very long and stressfull day at work And anyways, i dont need a voice to tell me to go all in with AA,... i need a voice to tell me to fold AsAd on 8h9hTh board facing two all ins
The rain is pouring, and a chap wants to go home from the railway station. He sits down into a cab. - For how much would he lead home? - 100 dollars. - 100 dollars?! I have only 80 clams. Let him do it, that takes home! - You are 100 there is not a transport. - Okay, then carry till then, the 80 bald ones. They are going, and there are only two kilometres already back, when the cab driver stops. - Oh, no let him be heartless already this much, believes the esô tears! But the thing does not touch the cab driver, and kicks his passenger, who hatches revenge, out. A next day wants to go home with a cab again, but he has 120 dollars already then. His cab driver the fifth on the taxi stand, the chap jumps in so the first into a car: - There are 120 clams here, lead home and suck, tootsie! - What imagine, you motherfucker animal! Oh pull, but quick! He plays this at everybody while he does not touch the yesterday's one finally. - Hello! There are 120 dollars at me. Let him lead for a hundred home, let him wave at his colleagues though for the number twenty and let him give them a smile when we pass by them, please...
Joined: Mar '10
Location: Greece
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 505
A guy goes into a bar. Drinks a few and gets ready to leave. The bartender tells him it's 30 bucks. -Oh, I'm not paying... -Why's that? -Coz I'm a magician... -Really? Hmm, let's see what u can do. -Well, you see that glass of beer over there? -Yes The magician claps his hands once. The glass lifts in the air. -Nice! The magician claps his hands twice. The glass gets down. -Hmm, not bad, but let's see something else -Ok says the magician, do you see that piano man with his piano over there? -Yes The magician claps his hands once. The grand piano and the piano man both lift in the air. -Woooaaaa! Amazing!! The magician claps his hands twice. Everything gets down. -Woa, this was one of a kind says the bartender. Tell you what, I've got a really tough one for you... -Let's hear it -You see that 100-year old man over there?.. Well if you manage to give him a stiffy by clapping, then it's all free booze for you in here from now on... -Hmm, sounds tough but I'll try... So the magician claps his hands once... Suddenly the old grandpa looks at his crotch and can't believe there's a boner in his pants!... quickly he pulls out a gun.. points at the magician and says: -Don't dare clap twice...
Joined: Oct '09
Location: Spain
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 2851
Posted by awood88: Ok. So this may make me sound retarded but I need someone to explain to me how this is a joke.
Not one part of it made me laugh. Maybe lost in translation or is this what passes for humour on the continent?
According to Jimmy Carr who is a legendary comedian, jokes work cos they twist what is expected. There's no punchline to this joke, no turning point. So he gets a bad flop for pocket aces with three callers. Nothing unusual/unexpected about that.
So unless there's a twist I'm missing, such as we find out the source of the voice or we find out the identity of the man, then this may be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard. Am I being stupid or what?
Sorry if this offends anyone.
OK, wasn´t a GREAT joke, I admit, but i thought it was pretty funny and was bored. And it looks like we´ve got a new joke thread started, so all is not lost, right?
)
