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  8-Aug-10, 15:33   #1
another freakin joke 0 
Supererou 

Joined: May '10
Location: Romania
Age: 28 (M)
Posts: 279
Maybe you'll laugh at it.I did. Big Smile Big Smile


These three guys die in a car wreck, and they all go to Hell. When they
arrive, the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was. The first
guy says “It’s gotta be the booze. I’m always drunk.”
The Devil decides to lock him in this room for 100 years with nothing
but shelves of every kind of alcohol you could dream of.

The guy’s thinking, “F**k yeah! Look at all this alcohol!” and runs
into the room.

The second guy says, “It’s the women. I could never stay faithful to my
wife.”

The devil opens the second door and nothing but the finest-looking naked
women that you have ever seen. And he would be the only guy in there
for 100 years. He couldn’t believe it. His d**k was instantly hard and
he went hauling ass into the room and the Devil shut the door.

The third man said “It’s gotta be the bud. I’m always tokin’ up.”

The Devil opens the third door to reveal nothing but fields of 10-foot
tall, icky, sticky, take-a-toke, make-ya-choke, chronic, green, death
bud. The stoner can’t believe it. He goes in and takes a seat Indian
style with his back to the door and the Devil shuts the door behind him.

One hundred years go by and the Devil comes back to check on the three
men.

He opens the first door and the man comes crawling out. He’s got an
empty bottle in one hand, he’s completely naked, hasn’t shaved or
showered in years, and is covered in his own puke, s**t and piss. “I’ll
never drink again!” he says.

The devil tells him that at least he learned something and decides to
give him a second shot at life.

The devil then opens the second door and the man comes running out even
faster than when he went in. “I’m fucking gay!” he screams.

The devil decides that at least he learned not to cheat on his wife and
gives him another chance as well.

The devil then comes to the third door. He opens it and nothing has
changed. The stoner is still sitting in the same position that he was
100 years ago.

The devil asks him if he learned anything.

The stoner turns around as a tear rolls down his cheek.

“You gotta a light man?”

Edited by Supererou (08 August 2010 @ 15:37 GMT)


     
  8-Aug-10, 16:58   #2
  +1 
tongerlo 
Joined: Apr '08
Location: Denmark
Age: 48 (M)
Posts: 217
hey htat's a nice one, good laugh Worship Worship Worship Worship
Spade Club Heart Diamond

     
  8-Aug-10, 20:45   #3
  0 
IslandJack 

Joined: Oct '09
Location: Belgium
Age: 56 (M)
Posts: 2851
Pretty funny! Big Smile

Poor guy..... Confused

     
  8-Aug-10, 20:59   #4
  0 
dozn01 

Joined: Sep '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 40 (M)
Posts: 5000
i would of eaten it Agree

     
  9-Aug-10, 03:46   #5
  0 
ibarra 
Joined: Feb '09
Location: Philippines
Age: 63 (M)
Posts: 96

That,s a good one, I kinda like it. I want more, keep it coming.

     
  9-Aug-10, 05:11   #6
  0 
jessthehuman 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 6482
Posted by dozn01:
i would of eaten it Agree


THC is not active unless it's heated. Possibly if you eat bucketloads. But basically that's why people smoke it or cook it Agree

     
  9-Aug-10, 07:11   #7
  0 
Supererou 

Joined: May '10
Location: Romania
Age: 28 (M)
Posts: 279
I'm glad you liked it. Big Smile

     
  9-Aug-10, 10:17   #8
  0 
smaffie 

Joined: Sep '09
Location: Netherlands
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 72
Posted by jessthehuman:
Posted by dozn01:
i would of eaten it Agree


THC is not active unless it's heated. Possibly if you eat bucketloads. But basically that's why people smoke it or cook it Agree


Wrong....you can eat it, and it works, even longer and harder then a smoke.
Personally i prefer smoking. but when locked up for 100 years, i think i'll spend a week to eat it all and then sleep for a 100 years

     
  9-Aug-10, 11:02   #9
  0 
jessthehuman 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 6482
Posted by smaffie:
Posted by jessthehuman:
Posted by dozn01:
i would of eaten it Agree


THC is not active unless it's heated. Possibly if you eat bucketloads. But basically that's why people smoke it or cook it Agree


Wrong....you can eat it, and it works, even longer and harder then a smoke.
Personally i prefer smoking. but when locked up for 100 years, i think i'll spend a week to eat it all and then sleep for a 100 years


hmm. ok. Yes i know it works harder/longer eaten. But I always though you needed to heat it / cook it. Not eat it raw. But ok

     
  9-Aug-10, 11:03   #10
  +1 
spootbv 

Joined: Jan '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 31 (M)
Posts: 183
it wass nice Smile))

     
  15-Aug-10, 16:41   #11
  0 
Supererou 

Joined: May '10
Location: Romania
Age: 28 (M)
Posts: 279
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.

Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?”

They draw straws.

Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is.

“Gentlemen! Discreet? I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me.”

Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.

Rippington says, “Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.”

She hollers, “TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!”

Rippington says, “I’ll tell him.”


------------
You Know You Play Too Much Poker When…

1. You start classifying people on your life as “weak-tight” or “loose-passive,” even when they’ve never set foot in a poker room.

2. You use the phrase “bad beat” when lending a sympathetic ear to a friend.

3. The guy on TV didn’t win the lottery, he had the “nut ticket”.

4. It’s been more than 24 hours since the first time you told yourself “Just one more round and then I’ll get some sleep.”

5. Your two ATM cards and five credit cards have all reached their maximum cash advance for the day.

6. You figure if your family leaves you that will give you more time and money and you can move up to a bigger limit.

7. You have 12 games on your computer, solitaire, minesweeper, and 10 poker games.

8. Your kids are named Check and Raise.

9. Your bathroom library consists of Card Player and Poker Digest.

10. The only reason you go to your in-law’s for christmas is for the 5c piece game after dinner.

11. Or because they live closer to the casino.

12. You are having such a bad day at hold ‘em that you decide to take a break… and play Omaha.

13. Your sweetie gets a certain look in her eye and you think it means that she wants to go to the cardroom.

14. You have nightmares about your cards changing during the hand.

15. You have a poker chip in your pocket right now.

     
  15-Aug-10, 18:23   #12
  0 
DaMessiah666 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Spain
Age: 43 (M)
Posts: 1487
Posted by Supererou:
------------
You Know You Play Too Much Poker When�

1. You start classifying people on your life as �weak-tight� or �loose-passive,� even when they�ve never set foot in a poker room.

2. You use the phrase �bad beat� when lending a sympathetic ear to a friend.

3. The guy on TV didn�t win the lottery, he had the �nut ticket�.

4. It�s been more than 24 hours since the first time you told yourself �Just one more round and then I�ll get some sleep.�

5. Your two ATM cards and five credit cards have all reached their maximum cash advance for the day.

6. You figure if your family leaves you that will give you more time and money and you can move up to a bigger limit.

7. You have 12 games on your computer, solitaire, minesweeper, and 10 poker games.

8. Your kids are named Check and Raise.

9. Your bathroom library consists of Card Player and Poker Digest.

10. The only reason you go to your in-law�s for christmas is for the 5c piece game after dinner.

11. Or because they live closer to the casino.

12. You are having such a bad day at hold �em that you decide to take a break� and play Omaha.

13. Your sweetie gets a certain look in her eye and you think it means that she wants to go to the cardroom.

14. You have nightmares about your cards changing during the hand.

15. You have a poker chip in your pocket right now.


lol ... I liked the last one. BTW, personally, if it was an exam, ... i wouldn't pass it ... my marks: 7/15 [even my two cats are named Brunson and Gus Blink ]

     
  15-Aug-10, 18:53   #13
  0 
tongerlo 
Joined: Apr '08
Location: Denmark
Age: 48 (M)
Posts: 217
Posted by Supererou:

3. The guy on TV didn�t win the lottery, he had the �nut ticket�.


good one Big Smile Big Smile Big Smile
Spade Club Heart Diamond

     
  15-Aug-10, 20:35   #14
  0 
jessthehuman 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 6482
Posted by Supererou:
7. You have 12 games on your computer, solitaire, minesweeper, and 10 poker games.


in my defence, I occasionally play minesweeper too !

     
  16-Aug-10, 06:57   #15
  0 
DaMessiah666 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Spain
Age: 43 (M)
Posts: 1487
Posted by jessthehuman:
Posted by Supererou:
7. You have 12 games on your computer, solitaire, minesweeper, and 10 poker games.


in my defence, I occasionally play minesweeper too !

Have u tried 3D Minesweeper? Last day i was playing a little and is really fun Worship ! You can see more here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI09Lot9P6o

     
  16-Aug-10, 07:55   #16
  0 
jessthehuman 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 6482
Posted by DaMessiah666:
Posted by jessthehuman:
Posted by Supererou:
7. You have 12 games on your computer, solitaire, minesweeper, and 10 poker games.


in my defence, I occasionally play minesweeper too !

Have u tried 3D Minesweeper? Last day i was playing a little and is really fun Worship ! You can see more here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI09Lot9P6o


I havent and maybe I will. But the reason i play minesweeper (and occasionally solitaire) is because I'm not a gamer (anymore) and i enjoy them because they are simple. Also, the only mobile phone game I ever play is snake 1/2 lol.

So whilst 3D minesweeper probably is not without merit, I'll stick to my basic minesweeper.. even the windows7 minesweeper kinda annoys me.. seems laggy.

     
  16-Aug-10, 09:47   #17
  0 
DaMessiah666 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Spain
Age: 43 (M)
Posts: 1487
Posted by jessthehuman:
I havent and maybe I will. But the reason i play minesweeper (and occasionally solitaire) is because I'm not a gamer (anymore) and i enjoy them because they are simple. Also, the only mobile phone game I ever play is snake 1/2 lol.

cool, i love simple games too. When i'm bored i always sit in my arcade machine and play for 5 minutes, no more, to a retro game like space invaders, tetris, rolling thunder, ... just a coin and play! Big Smile

     
  10-Sep-10, 03:48   #18
  0 
KoldShadow 

Joined: Aug '09
Location: United States
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 97
Even though you annoy the HELL out of me on Absolute Angry, as a stoner, I really appreciate this. The worst feeling I have is having packed a piece or rolled up, ready to kill some brain cells, and my lighter fucking dies on me. I always keep spares so it's usually only a temporary inconvenience Cool, but if I was in that third guy's situation . . . Aww crap!

     
  10-Sep-10, 09:28   #19
  0 
jessthehuman 

Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 6482
Posted by DaMessiah666:
Posted by jessthehuman:
I havent and maybe I will. But the reason i play minesweeper (and occasionally solitaire) is because I'm not a gamer (anymore) and i enjoy them because they are simple. Also, the only mobile phone game I ever play is snake 1/2 lol.

cool, i love simple games too. When i'm bored i always sit in my arcade machine and play for 5 minutes, no more, to a retro game like space invaders, tetris, rolling thunder, ... just a coin and play! Big Smile


yeh man, tetris, space invader.. exactly. I love that s**t.

     
  10-Sep-10, 10:15   #20
  0 
Supererou 

Joined: May '10
Location: Romania
Age: 28 (M)
Posts: 279
Posted by KoldShadow:
Even though you annoy the HELL out of me on Absolute Angry, as a stoner, I really appreciate this. The worst feeling I have is having packed a piece or rolled up, ready to kill some brain cells, and my lighter fucking dies on me. I always keep spares so it's usually only a temporary inconvenience Cool, but if I was in that third guy's situation . . . Aww crap!

did we meet at the tables?

     
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