I have been without internet the past three days and can see the safe has been broken three times in that period. So now I'm gonna sue my my internet supplier for $90 because I off course would have broken the safe all three times if i had had the chance
Joined: Mar '10
Location: Greece
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 505
Hey, hey, my fellow citizens, I totally sympathize everyone of you. I'm sure you'll need a good lawyer for this so I'll give you my card. Call anytime, day or night on my toll-free number. We'll sue the hell out of these bastards and claim some hefty millions.
I recently won a massive case of a vegetarian who accidentally saw a cow in a farm and puked... Yeah, that silly farmer paid us big!
Joined: May '08
Location: Sweden
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 1362
ILI_002, you sir, got yourself a deal!
I suppose you would like to have some sort of advance fee for your work, and expenses paid? So you just give me your FTP or PS username, and the money is there in the wink of an eye! I'm sure every $ would be soooo EV+!!
Joined: Jan '10
Location: Argentina
Age: 42 (M)
Posts: 38
Most funny thread ever. I've written down the nick of that lawyier he seems the best (think of the smart guy of blind justice here). Well, I'm not good at joking, but getting a bit more reasonable I am there, with 2 hears (on is A) and 2 hearts on the flop. This as all we know is like 46% winner flush. So, I am bet upon me, and I do call since my implied odds where huge. I won't say I would win the tourney, but certainly was a ticket to the final table. So I call and on turn comes a heart. Now, if there was someone there waiting for another heart since it could have only 1 (plus, better, if someone has already a flush since I had A), I go fiishing planning to make all-in on river. A big bet comes, so I click "all-in". A second later it does happend nothing. 3 seconds, the timer was running (it was a turbo). The timer runs out. 3 second later, I am there, with another hand, and my chips not worth even to get to paid position. Not only my inet provider should pay me the money I've lost. I mean, they must pay me the prize of the first place in that tourney, plus the indeminzation for my terrible feelings which could have made me commit suicide. (that I would paint it of course). True story.
Joined: Mar '10
Location: Greece
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 505
@Martin:
My dear friend Martin, this is easy-peasy for me, that's why you have to CALL NOW!! I work on a 50%-50% basis, but in a couple of days you'll have your fat check ready...
I'll add some serious harassment to the case, since that poor girl YOU WERE JUST ABOUT TO MARRY IF YOU WON the tourney money (don't worry, a girlfriend of mine knows exactly how to play this role with a cut of 10% ...) ended up with serious psychological damage now that you didn't win and couldn't afford the wedding.....
Moreover, you DID INJURED YOUR HAND badly in frustration when the button couldn't be pressed, so it's a couple of thousands more for your hospital treatment...
Overall, we got a major case here and it's a win-win... I'm thinking Bahamas for me, what are you gonna do with your share?
Posted by ILI_002: Moreover, you DID INJURED YOUR HAND badly in frustration when the button couldn't be pressed, so it's a couple of thousands more for your hospital treatment...
MartinR, I can fix you a medical report from a hospital in Moscow. Interested?
...) ended up with serious psychological damage now that you didn't win and couldn't afford the wedding..... 
