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Joined: Jun '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 68 (M)
Posts: 221
so it was a good week and the bonus was an invite to the pub for a 20 man live tourney 20£ buy in and the wife let me go!! without a fight oh my god life cant get much better. So there we are after 2 hours and we are in the money 3rd of 4 and AA in hand oh my god , now the problems begin , we have been drinking the guinness yes that black Irish nectar , but as anyone who has sampled the guinnes knows it can have side effects the worst of which is the runs or skitters whatever you whish to call it its desperate and the chip leaders sittin back giving me the stare, oh my god am going to fart!!, will it be safe , will it smell? will it be a wet one? oh my fooking god raise you bastard or fold , fooking do something you fat slimey baaasstard, but no again he looks at his hole cards again he gives me the stare, does he know? does he know I am going to shite myself? and then the desicion is made I cant help it I let the fart escape it had to happen the pooping string broke and yes its a wet one , AA does not matter anymore the urgent matter at hand is how to leave the table unnoticed , will there be a stain on the seat? thank got I didnt wear my white jeans, chipleader gos all in, thank god I say quickly calling and yes I got lucky he had qq and hit a queen on the flop, gladly I head for the door asking my pal to pick up my winings , safely home we check the damage, hmm, not to bad , quick shower and no one will ever know,, apart from me you and the cieling
Joined: Apr '09
Location: Australia
Age: 40 (M)
Posts: 6483
OMG are you serious ? That sounds like a fooking nightmare !
I have actually pooped myself before (as an adult), sorry to say. I was about 19/20, I have a bad gut; ulcer. And if I haven't had my meds for it for a few days, it can fuk with my bowels.. So this day was one of those days, but I was feeling alright.. Anyway, I was on a tram and suddenly felt my gut swirling and had to keep farting.. Anyway, get to my stop and it's about a 15minute walk home, just as I step off the tram, BAM ! Get the runs bad, try my hardest, but just nothing I could do, made a dash for the pub to try and make the toilets, got about 5 meters from the toilet and it happened, luckily I was able to clean up without anyone noticed.. But fuk it was still embarassing.. But just nothing I could do, came on so suddenly and just wasn't close enough to a bathroom.
Joined: Apr '09
Location: Portugal
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 4827
There are several ways to go easy through a situation like this. I have some friends who always cough intentionaly when they will fart. With this practice, at a table only with men, after first time everybody will smile and be prepared, making the problem disapear! Other way is to stop breathing in order to control both breath and fart strength. If you are good at this you will be able to make your fart go out so easy it will not make a single noise, and being so slowly done, the most probable is that nobody will notice if any smell come from there. Then you go all-in, show the aces and win and nobody will suspect of you if some hakward smell starts filling the room
Joined: Jun '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 68 (M)
Posts: 221
lol, sound advice and noted, so I willstop drinking guinness , cough a lot , and breath slowly, ok , fine , I also hear that they do a good line in mens nappies online at ebay
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Joined: Jun '11
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 52 (M)
Posts: 1332
this had me in stitches... .just thinking though,your AA got cracked by QQ,never a better time for a dirty protest,you should have picked up your A's wiped your arse and told them that's what you think of your A's....
Joined: May '09
Location: Netherlands
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 15
i give all the badbeats to everyone i don't no what it is but i always menace to break aa or kk and even with the guiness i still win. look at my face could you read this. bodemsup
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Posted by serdar: i give all the badbeats to everyone i don't no what it is but i always menace to break aa or kk and even with the guiness i still win. look at my face could you read this. bodemsup
