Joined: Aug '07
Location: Malta
Age: 41 (M)
Posts: 8320
It's weekend (for most europeans, at least) - and the MobSafe just increased to contain $40. Sure, we could just wait for another day and it'll probably go to $50.
BUT - we would like to see how many people actually reads this forum on a regular basis
That's why we're having this extremely small and quick competion, just for today:
*********** The first 5 people to post a funny joke in this thread (no racism etc. please), will receive 5 extra bonus shots at the MobSafe, each. ***********
Come on .. .post some jokes, let's start the weekend with something fun to read
(We reserve the right not to issue the 5 bonusshots if we find the joke offending etc.)
Joined: Oct '07
Location: Portugal
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 5
A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game."
"How did you manage to do that?"
"It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."
Joined: Sep '07
Location: Finland
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 10
man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from the inside of the apartment. He walks inside only to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, "Help, Help, I am having a heart attack!" The husband runs in the other room to call the doctor.
One of his kids run up to him and says, "Daddy, Daddy, there is a naked man in the closet!"
Husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob.
He yells at Bob, "Bob, G-d damn it! My wife is having a heart attack, and here you are trying to scare the kids"!!!
Joined: Sep '07
Location: Sweden
Age: 48 (M)
Posts: 9
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
Joined: Sep '07
Location: Finland
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 0
Did you fart? Cuz baby you blew me away. Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in. Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner. Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em. You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away. I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I can make yer “bed-rock.” If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta that cheap motel room over yonder. If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.
Joined: Aug '07
Location: Malta
Age: 41 (M)
Posts: 8320
-NiGo-, I don't know if that counts for a joke or not - but I like it 5 bonus shots for you also.
It would in fact be interesting to see you pull one of those lines off in a bar or something - be sure to record it on video
*******
Room for _1 more joke_ tonight folks - 5 bonus shots at the MobSafe available, it contains $40 right now, goin' on $50 (tomorrow at around noon CET, I think)...
Joined: Oct '07
Location: Lithuania
Age: 56 (F)
Posts: 0
A blonde in a convertible is speeding down the highway when she gets pulled over by a female police officer, who also turns out to be a blonde. She walks up to the convertible and asks to see the blonde's drivers license.
Confused, the blonde asks, "What does a license look like?"
Eager to help, the officer happily responds, "It's that thing in your purse with your face on it."
The blonde begins searching through her purse and finally pulls out a mirror. She flips it open, sees her own reflection and figures that must be it. After handing it over to the officer, the officer carefully looks at it says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"
5 extra mobsafe tries awarded to you! good luck 
