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The Husband And The Wife


The Husband Just came back from work, he says to he's wife hunni i just hit the jackpot at lotery,
[ wife ] oooo nice
[ husband ] Please go make your luggage's
[ wife ] oooo reallt nice wt clotes i should take with me ??
[ husband ] I Dont care as long as you are living Big Smile

     
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Hahaha, that wasnt funny Big Smile Big Smile Big Smile Big Smile

     
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http://www.bankrollmob.com/forum.asp?mode=thread&id... for some more.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.

     
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hahaha Big Smile
would you do that with your wife?

     
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Posted by spootbv:
The Husband And The Wife


The Husband Just came back from work, he says to he's wife hunni i just hit the jackpot at lotery,
[ wife ] oooo nice
[ husband ] Please go make your luggage's
[ wife ] oooo reallt nice wt clotes i should take with me ??
[ husband ] I Dont care as long as you are living Big Smile


i think he means 'your leaving' lol. just in case some ppl didnt get it

     
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'Holy Prostitutes'

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye......It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought......

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.
On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who ask s, 'What may we do for you my son?'

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disorientated.
The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.
This nun instructs, 'Please place 100 pounds in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway...'

He puts 100 pounds in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
Tongue

     
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A teacher draws a pic of a penis on the chalk board
"does any one know what this is" she asks
Little billy puts his hand up, "miss, miss I do"
"ok then billy what do you think it is"
"its a willy, and my daddy has 2"
"2" she replys
"yes miss, a little one too wee out of, and a big one to clean the baby sitters teeth"

     
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The Detroit Red Wings foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi

play hockey in the new American sponsored league, and is suitably impressed

and arranges for him to come over to the US .

Ken Holland signs him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

Two weeks later the Wings are down 4-0 to the Blackhawks with only 10 minutes left.

Mike Babcock gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation -

scores 5 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the Wings! The fans are delighted,

the players and coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the ice he phones his mom to tell her about his first day of

NHL hockey. ‘Hello mom, guess what?’ he says in an Iraqi accent. ‘I played for 10 minutes

today, we were 4-0 down, but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans,

the media, they all love me.’

‘Wonderful,’ says his mom, ‘Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street

and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten, and your brother has joined

a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.’

The young Iraqi is very upset. ‘What can I say mom, but I’m so sorry.’

‘Sorry? You’re Sorry?’ says his mom, ‘It’s your fault we moved to Detroit in the first place!’


     
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THEIR WAS THIS GUY WHO WANTED HIS WIFE BUMPED OF SO HE ENGAGED A HITMAN AGREED A PRICE BUT WANTED TO NO HOW THE MURDER WOULD BE CARRIED OUT THE HIT MAN STATED HE WOULD FIRE A BULLET INTO HER ONE INCH BELOW HER LEFT BREAST THE MAN REPLIED THATS NO GOOD I WANT HER BUMPED OFF NOT KNEECAPPED

Sorry about the cap's but it was cut & past

     
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