Joined: Jan '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 183
The Husband And The Wife
The Husband Just came back from work, he says to he's wife hunni i just hit the jackpot at lotery, [ wife ] oooo nice [ husband ] Please go make your luggage's [ wife ] oooo reallt nice wt clotes i should take with me ?? [ husband ] I Dont care as long as you are living
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.
Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
Posted by spootbv: The Husband And The Wife
The Husband Just came back from work, he says to he's wife hunni i just hit the jackpot at lotery, [ wife ] oooo nice [ husband ] Please go make your luggage's [ wife ] oooo reallt nice wt clotes i should take with me ?? [ husband ] I Dont care as long as you are living
i think he means 'your leaving' lol. just in case some ppl didnt get it
Joined: Oct '08
Location: Netherlands
Age: 64 (M)
Posts: 2193
'Holy Prostitutes'
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye......It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES
He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought......
Soon he sees another sign which reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who ask s, 'What may we do for you my son?'
He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'
'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disorientated. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'
He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, 'Please place 100 pounds in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway...'
He puts 100 pounds in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.
The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:
GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
Joined: Mar '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 6714
A teacher draws a pic of a penis on the chalk board "does any one know what this is" she asks Little billy puts his hand up, "miss, miss I do" "ok then billy what do you think it is" "its a willy, and my daddy has 2" "2" she replys "yes miss, a little one too wee out of, and a big one to clean the baby sitters teeth"
Joined: Oct '08
Location: Netherlands
Age: 64 (M)
Posts: 2193
THEIR WAS THIS GUY WHO WANTED HIS WIFE BUMPED OF SO HE ENGAGED A HITMAN AGREED A PRICE BUT WANTED TO NO HOW THE MURDER WOULD BE CARRIED OUT THE HIT MAN STATED HE WOULD FIRE A BULLET INTO HER ONE INCH BELOW HER LEFT BREAST THE MAN REPLIED THATS NO GOOD I WANT HER BUMPED OFF NOT KNEECAPPED
