Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 60 (F)
Posts: 2558
A man walks up to the bartender and says, "I bet you $100 dollars that I can stand on your bar and leak into a jar without spilling a drop." The bartender laughs and tells him that is it such an impossible bet, he'll take it. So the man stands up on the bar, and cheering to his friends in the back, begins to leak. He not only misses the jar, but doesn't even get a single drop in. He pisses all over the bar and floor and over the bartender. When he is done the bartender is still laughing and asks the man to give him the hundred bucks. The man hands over the money and smiles at the bartender. The bartender asks him what is so funny when he just obviously lost so badly. The man replies, " I just bet my friends $1000 that I could leak all over you and your bar and not only would you not mind, but you would find it hilariously funny!".
#2
Milk Bath A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."
#3
The Dead Bird A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Oh, look at that dead bird." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
#4
Speeding A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and now today you expect me to show it to you."
#5 A Bunch of short ones
Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. You can't, they have always been like that.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side.
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make? A. A wind tunnel.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish? A. She drowns it.
Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat? A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
lol .. pretty funny. Your jokes usually are English exercises for me. In fact, today I've learnt some new vocabulary and I promise I've caught all the jokes! By the way ... you are redhead, aren't you?
Edit: I knew your first joke but in a different way: betting to a beautiful woman (I dont' know if she was blonde or not!) $100 that he had squared balls. After the woman touched his balls, he said: "Oops, give me $100 because they are rounded!" And the guy said "Perfect, I bet $1000 against my friends that you touch me the balls!"
Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 60 (F)
Posts: 2558
lol DaMissiah666 yes I am a redhead. Funny enough my friend is a blonde an she sends this stuff to me I think its her way of showing she is smart ,( she is actually as she is a Dentist) and that blonde jokes dont bother her
Joined: Oct '09
Location: Lithuania
Age: 45 (M)
Posts: 2805
thx for great joke i read it and its really good keeping posting every day and u must creat your personal blog off jokes but not every day new thread i think its better read your jokes and have fun then read posts about how to find pasworrd or tournament id hope 25 - th also will have great joke good luck and have fun
Joined: Jan '10
Location: United States
Age: 58 (M)
Posts: 205
should show these to the guy that goes on tilt and then looses, a few of these and he would be right back on track. good post , somthing not related to freerolls i like it
