A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
The Bet
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Joined: Jan '11
Location: United States
Age: 62 (M)
Posts: 3361
Funny jokes! I take it your not blonde, and if so it's nice to have a good sense of humor. Hope the girls at work tomorrow have the same senseof humor when I share these with them.
It was nice to laugh about something since I'm generally whining about FT / PS and not being able to play any SnG'. Good Luck to All! Hope the U.S> poker players are finding ways to cope with their down time.
Joined: Nov '09
Location: Canada
Age: 57 (M)
Posts: 2387
Posted by dlkiv: A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Welcome back dlkiv! This last one you posted is really good, I have never heard it before! Bankrollmob should sign you up with a contract requiring you to post a joke each day, always makes me smile!
Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 60 (F)
Posts: 2558
Posted by mahdrof:
Posted by dlkiv: A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Welcome back dlkiv! This last one you posted is really good, I have never heard it before! Bankrollmob should sign you up with a contract requiring you to post a joke each day, always makes me smile!
thanks dear but BRM could not afford me and give all NDB 's
Joined: Oct '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 59 (M)
Posts: 667
Nice jokes dlkiv. My missus is blonde and sure enough some of these would fit. Oops she is coming into the room. Fortunatley she has just sat down and is wondering why I am up so early. Could tell her I am waiting for a train................. she would ask what I am on about and I'm not brave enough to tell her.....................
