Joined: Jan '08
Location: Brazil
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 1788
A guy shows up at his Thursday night poker game with his bulldog. The dog jumps on on an empty seat and the guy buys him some chips. As the dealer starts to pass the dog by, the guy says,
"Hey, deal my dog in!"
Everyone looks rather askance but they deal him in.
To everyone's surprise, the dog picks up the cards and begins to play!
After a few hands one of the guys says, "Say, that's amazing! Your dog ought to be in the Guiness Book of Records!"
The dog owner says, "Nah, he sees too many flops and is a sucker for a check-raise."
Joined: Jan '08
Location: Denmark
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 4
Little Johnny's dad was a retired gambler. Having picked up a few of his old man's bad habits, Johnny wagered on anything and everything, and he was good at it. Eventually, it became such a problem, that Johnny's teacher called his father to discuss it. After a long conversation, they decided to teach him a lesson.
One day after class Johnny approached his teacher. "You're not really blonde," he said. "I've seen your bush and it's pitch black, you dye your hair."
"I most certainly do not," she replied.
"I bet you ten bucks you do," he said.
She saw that this was an opportunity to teach him a lesson, so she waited for all the other children to leave the class and took off her pants, showing him that her pubic hair was the same color as the hair on her head. Johnny paid her the ten dollars and walked sullenly out of the room.
A few hours later Johnny's teacher called his father. "I think I finally taught him a lesson," she said.
"The hell you have," his father said angrily. "This morning he bet me $50 he'd see your vagina before the end of the day."
Joined: Oct '07
Location: Sweden
Age: 63 (M)
Posts: 210
Two men went golfing. One man took his pipe out of his golf bag and asked the other one if he had a lighter. The other man pulled out a 12-inch Bic lighter and handed it to him. The first man said "Where did you get that?"
The second man said, "From my genie." The man pulled a lamp out of his bag and rubbed it. The genie appeared and asked what he wanted. He said a million bucks and the genie went back into the lamp. As soon as he disappeared, a million ducks flew overhead.
"Wait a minute," the first man said, "that’s not what I asked for."
The second man said, "My genie has bad hearing. Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch Bic?"
Joined: Jan '08
Location: Brazil
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 1788
A 12 year old boy comes home from school and walks into his parents' room. Mom and dad are in bed making love. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" His dad replies, "Playing poker. Now get out of here." He goes to his older sister's room to find his sister and her boyfriend in bed making love. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" His sister replies, "Playing poker. Now get out of here." He goes to his older brother's room and finds his brother masturbating. He asks his brother, "What are you doing?" His brother replies, "Playing poker." The boy asks, "I thought that it takes two to play poker." His brother replies, "Not if you have a good hand."
