Joined: Jun '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 483
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. 6) Everyone reading this who didn't grow up in the 80's will have just have typed 55378008 into a calculator, some might have turned it upside down. 7) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 9) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 13) But a rainy damp day smells like a wet dog. 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 19) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong. 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 24) You never ever run out of salt. 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug or stubbing your toe on the table leg. 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard. 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 34) Bricks are horrible to carry. 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. 36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Joined: Jun '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 483
Posted by B1gfoot: LOL 34) Bricks are horrible to carry. Nahh concreat blocks
I think we can all add more to this
37. As a man at some stage in your life you will see how far back you can stand whilst taking a piss.
38. every man will at some point treat himself to a 'sit-down piss' 39. saying goodbye to someone but then having to walk in the same direction always brings up nervous laughter 40. every man has the 'man draw' full of random crap i.e wires, sockets, tools and worn out batteries 41. one of the most awkward things that happens is when you try to move out the way of someone but you move into the same direction 42. more ketchup makes everything taste good except for ketchup 43. theres always one who prefers mustard over ketchup and pepper over salt 44. the greatest challenge in life is filling your petrol tank up to a nice round number
Joined: Apr '08
Location: Finland
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1613
41. one of the most awkward things that happens is when you try to move out the way of someone but you move into the same direction ... damn thats annoying.
45. Poker is rigged 46. You are always in the slowest line in shopping malls and traffic.
Joined: Mar '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 6714
47. When weaving in and out of traffic, you will end up at the next set of light next to the same guy you raced away from. 48. Women know what you are going to say befor you say it, so you dont even need to say it. 49. A mouse will die during the most important hand in your poker career, it will then hit the wall at a very fast speed.
Joined: Nov '09
Location: Philippines
Age: 51 (M)
Posts: 1011
Posted by oll1e999: 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. 6) Everyone reading this who didn't grow up in the 80's will have just have typed 55378008 into a calculator, some might have turned it upside down. 7) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 9) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 13) But a rainy damp day smells like a wet dog. 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 19) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong. 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 24) You never ever run out of salt. 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug or stubbing your toe on the table leg. 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard. 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 34) Bricks are horrible to carry. 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. 36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Joined: Jun '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 483
52) its against the law to ask 'what?' more then 3 times then you've just got to go with your gut and smile & nod 53)the definition of bravery is to stand in the shower before turning it on 54)there's never a pen when you need one & the first one you pick up never works 55)there's no scarier moment than when you think you've lent back to far in your chair and have to dive at the table in front of you 56)you can never find your keys, the remote or the g-spot but at 7:30am I bet my ass you can find the snooze button, eyes closed & half asleep within 2.5 seconds
Joined: Oct '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 44 (M)
Posts: 1086
57) everybody at some point in their life will walk into a room, totally forget what they went there for, go do something else, remember, return to the room only to have forgotten again.
