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i just went to the toilet and had a phantom s**t here what 1 is....................
A phantom s**t is the rare phenominon wherein a s**t (usually of a solid, well-defined mars bar-like constitution) disappears entirely from sight before the s**tee has a chance to admire his creation. A phantom s**t completely submerges itself beneath the upper waters of a toilet-bowl in an instant. Initially such an occurence brings on the sensation of euphoria. However, the bliss is quickly replaced by paranoia and self-doubt as one tries to recall if they did truly s**t or not. Usually the doubt can be subdued by wiping ones ass and finding s**t upon the toilet paper. However, if the s**t was a clean run and the toilet paper produces no s**t-stains, then symptons may intensify until the s**tee becomes a paranoid retard who believes in, and creates, conspiracy theories, and poker sites that are rigged.
-dozn01 squats over his toilet and unleashes a dump -dozn01 rises to a stand and stares down at the toilet to find it empty. A phantom s**t has occured. -Astonished, dozn01 grabs for some toilet roll in a panic and wipes his ass -The toilet roll produces no s**t post-wipe and dozn01 runs away from the bathroom flailing his hands above his head whilst screaming -dozn01 tells his friends that The Illuminati are in cahoots with giant-headed aliens in a plot to take over the world. -dozn01 creates retarded websites and spends his life masterbating over sexless, fictional alien creatures and loads of crazy threads at bankrollmob.com about online poker is rigged
Joined: Feb '08
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 35 (M)
Posts: 1886
LMAO or should that be LWWMAO (laughing whilst wiping my arse off)
I have never had a phantom s**t exactly as you've described but I have on more than one occasion experienced what my friend publicly described in detail on facebook and named a "ghost s**t' which is when despite evidence in the bowl no s**t stains appear on the toilet paper.
