Joined: Jun '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 483
A husband talking about his shopping experience:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called..
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Joined: Jun '09
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 33 (M)
Posts: 483
Posted by arsenej1: lol hes not talkin about himself just simply another copy and paste by oll1e999...not a bad one tho seems he came back from the dead
Joined: Feb '08
Location: Netherlands
Age: 52 (M)
Posts: 818
I diden't think it was him really And if he was, he married way too early at 19 ( even 22 is too early, Miss MB) You shouden't marry before 40 or something
Joined: Jan '11
Location: United States
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 3361
Yeah, I've not seen you B4 oll1e999, but that is a very funny post. I've printed it out for my wife. She will really like this one. especially since it doesn't pertain to poker. She always blows me a ration of crap for playing poker or reading about it and this just goes to show how fun BRM really is. Good Luck to All1
Joined: Dec '10
Location: Philippines
Age: 35 (F)
Posts: 739
( even 22 is too early, Miss MB) You shouden't marry before 40 or something
hey jazz,is it me who u mean?hahahha,,yes i married to early,but its fine coz i enjoy my life as being married even though my husband is in across the world,, i been married since i was 18yrs hehehe,to early hahaha,
Joined: Nov '09
Location: Canada
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 2387
Fortunately early in our marriage my wife and I agreed: she won't try to take me shopping when she wants to buy clothes or shoes (unless it's for the kids), and I won't try taking her to a hardware store, renovation store, or car parts/accessories store. Compromise and communication, as well as remembering the two most important words a man needs to know in a marriage: yes dear
closely followed by:
I'm sorry I won't let it happen again you DO look great in that dress I like those shoes I won't have any booze next time at your Aunt Mabel's birthday party
Joined: Mar '09
Location: Canada
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 3207
Posted by PokerWoman22:
( even 22 is too early, Miss MB) You shouden't marry before 40 or something
hey jazz,is it me who u mean?hahahha,,yes i married to early,but its fine coz i enjoy my life as being married even though my husband is in across the world,, i been married since i was 18yrs hehehe,to early hahaha,
yeah ive got married last october when i was 22...dont think it was to early ive been with her since i was 13 and never split up at all! now shes 3 months prego
Why on earth did she marry you??? 
seems he came back from the dead
just making my monthly appearance
