Joined: Mar '11
Location: Germany
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 217
I wonder what do you do to calm down if really pissed off from losing your important hands. I am somewhat angry at the moment, it´s surprising how a game of poker takes control over my emotions. Maybe I have to get back to my own advices and take a break for some weeks.
Just played the pro-sat at HP. Had a solid good stack when I got pocket Kings, so I did a standard bet. Got one caller, the flop showed up very friendly with one Jack and crap. Of course I placed some chips (hoping that villain hit someting) and he did ... well, River and Turn made his trips complete.
That´s what happens to me since days now at HP, always get cracked and busted with fk Turn or River. Slowly I tend to believe what all the many others with that problem say about this. It is just unreal. Got to get some Heavy Metal in my head now.
Apthy my friend apathy...It's the last stage of the grieving process. The problem here is you care....once one hits apathy the emotions quell and one can start analylitical thinking. How does one know when they've achieved apathy... the senario is thought out repeatly and the final response is laughter, then and only then will apathy be achieved. Easier said than done...of course..takes some practice and awareness. Losses come in many forms so there is no real "right way"... when ones needs to hasten the time frame one can remind themselves at any time that if one is having a hard time trying to have a good time...it's time to let go. Just make sure one does this for all the right reasons. The time frame here is fluid...in other words there is none...it's up to each and every individual to find how best to deal with these losses however they manifest. Some people never achieve this and wind up in an intolerable state. Here's one I use...there is no control over which cards hit the board...completely neutral, void of emotion, and in fact true. Hope this helps and here's to a better poker future...cheers!
Joined: Nov '09
Location: Canada
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 2387
When you get too frustrated it is time to close down and do other stuff. Many times I have closed up all my tables in frustration (I play mostly cash), gotten myself a fresh cup of coffee and thought about the hands that went wrong and what my mistakes were, and what mistakes my opponent made. After doing that I often return, reopen a bunch of tables and start to climb. This game is largely about psychology and mindset. GL
Joined: Feb '11
Location: Germany
Age: 31 (M)
Posts: 1859
Just play more,get volume up,get expirience with swings. It really helps! I was also getting pissed about every single bad beat I took when I started poker. Now losing 20 buy ins in a session is just a normal swing to me
Joined: Feb '11
Location: Canada
Age: 39 (M)
Posts: 1660
Actually thought the title was really good. I often feel like I play with instincts, and it's a problem. I always try to tell myself to think about my moves before I make them but I get so excited and my fingers are in motion. Different from tilt as it's not a result of anger or loss. I just find it hard to focus intently on analysis.
Joined: Mar '09
Location: Greece
Age: 47 (F)
Posts: 14136
If you cant control yourself after a loss then the only thing you need to do is stop playing poker Shut down your pc and leave. Do something else to calm you down. For example listen to some music go for a walk or watch tv, but not poker shows
Joined: Aug '08
Location: Canada
Age: 58 (F)
Posts: 2558
That is all part of the game. Everyone gets pissed off and all get bad beats with bs calls and luck of others. Does not matter if its online or live.
Control of your own emotions is key to the next tourney /hand that you play. If you really are that worked up IMO it is better to get control of yourself , and take time off to chill and know that this happens,( especially in FR's and buy ins where plenty is at stake for all). Do not forget that some are willing to bet all they have on nothing but hopes and dreams and will KILL your PP as long as there is a small chance that they will get trips,( as happened with you), or better.
Best of luck to you in the future.
And just so you know, my gut instincts have paid off for me big time. When I do not listen to them,Ii end up kicking myself in the ass as sometimes they tell me fold PP,( and I do not listen), or other times they say play hard( and I have not listened). When I do listen for me it ends up 99.9% positive. Maybe that is just me.
Joined: Jan '10
Location: Indonesia
Age: 60 (M)
Posts: 1875
Posted by mahdrof: When you get too frustrated it is time to close down and do other stuff. Many times I have closed up all my tables in frustration (I play mostly cash), gotten myself a fresh cup of coffee and thought about the hands that went wrong and what my mistakes were, and what mistakes my opponent made. After doing that I often return, reopen a bunch of tables and start to climb. This game is largely about psychology and mindset. GL
I agree and I proposed it. Even I need 2 or 3 day to recovery, just few hours sometime working but more worst if I break again. would you try ?
Joined: Mar '11
Location: Germany
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 217
Fortunately some of that adrenaline disappeared by night - thanks to Iron Maiden and your good words -
and I was able to recover that hand in my memory how it really has been played. I was so upset from losing my lousy pocket kings yesterday, that I even did not notice for sure what my opponents hand was: I did not lose to trips ... 1st he hit a pair with the Jack at the Flop, giving him a reason to call my bet. 2nd the turn and river completed his Fullhouse, he was holding AJ! Amazing unlucky beat. Noone likes that. But I must admit he played it well.
To be honest, originally I just wanted to let some steam out of my head with this thread. Now I decided to think it over. For sure it makes no difference if you lose to trips or to a boat. A loss is a loss. But interesting how one can get affected in his sight of the things, happening in such a moment.
There were some good tips and arguments in your replies, worth to take a closer look at. I am feeling comfortable with the idea of reaching "apathy". Just a bit frightened to fall asleep while trying, hehe. I also noticed some players talking about the funny things they are smoking during play ... while I am not sure if they can reach an apathy level that rdbflyboy was talking of
During the years I tried to develop some strategies for my game and from time to time I even analyse a specific game situation afterwards. There are so many sources out there to gain information and knowledge from, sometimes it´s hard to select what to read or watch first. If interested in many different poker variants like I am, it is even harder. At least it takes more time if you want to raise your skills.
So the right part of all this input has to be accessable in the right moment - hopefully - and I say to myself besides of any game plans, that I have to focus and keep an eye on how my opponents play and not to overplay my hands, not to be too tight, not to get donked and all these plenty beginner mistakes one can read about in all the strategy threads. Also I noticed in beeing better to give "good advices" to others than to use them for myself in the right moment - and that´s a key point, too, I believe. Sometimes in such an important game situation (oppotunity or danger), my analytical thinking seems to be affected by an unconscious program and I am falling back to bad habits. Like overbetting a hand - just having a positive outcome in mind and pushing my chips to the middle ... really wish to get more control about this.
Joined: Nov '09
Location: Canada
Age: 55 (M)
Posts: 2387
Posted by dlkiv: And just so you know, my gut instincts have paid off for me big time. When I do not listen to them,Ii end up kicking myself in the ass as sometimes they tell me fold PP,( and I do not listen), or other times they say play hard( and I have not listened). When I do listen for me it ends up 99.9% positive. Maybe that is just me.
Fully agreed, that's why I only play serious games when I am fully alert. When I am tired or distracted that is when I make bad calls and overplay certain hands. Live as with online play, gotta be ready and paying attention to the information your opponents are giving you as they play. When I feel like playing but am too tired, I play microstakes SNG so that I can't do too much damage.
Posted by BeMyATMplz: Just play more,get volume up,get expirience with swings. It really helps! I was also getting pissed about every single bad beat I took when I started poker. Now losing 20 buy ins in a session is just a normal swing to me
Yep! The more you play, the more you'll see poker as pure probabilities. The fact is this guy would've doubled you up like 70% of the time with that flop, so there's nothing to be frustrated about, except your own bad luck but there's really no point to it ^^
Joined: Dec '11
Location: Serbia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 87
Trusting your instincts is fine, over trusting a hand just because it is KK isn't. Slow playing a pair is never a good idea, not even if it is AA. Its always better to get away with something small than to lose a lot.
Still, bad luck can't be avoided, nor can the good.. Think about the times when you had crazy luck and won when you get a bad beat.
I remember when i was starting out lol, my first tilt burst, i was working 4 days to earn some 350 dollars and than lost it all in 2 hours haha, didn't really feel bad about it but that recognize that i was an idiot.
If you have the abilities and skill to make a strong upswing- downsings shouldn't frighten you.
P.S. Your final line says it all-chilling out with heavy metal just doesn't seem productive to me
Joined: Mar '11
Location: Germany
Age: 54 (M)
Posts: 217
Posted by Marble42: chilling out with heavy metal just doesn't seem productive to me
finding the beauty in an amazing guitar solo, jump on a train of rythm, stand up to feel the wind and shout to the beat, let yourself be taken away on wings of pure imagination
Joined: Dec '11
Location: Serbia
Age: 36 (M)
Posts: 87
If that is the case- i stand corrected. I know better than to judge the type of music one enjoys, in all honesty the first thing that comes to mind when heavy metal is mentioned is all the rage, the pushing of the fans themselves, fire spitting from the artists etc and in my book that isn't soothing
The more mad you are, the less chance you have to bounce back and vise versa.. Remember the lost hands you won on the river with a 4% chance when you get a bad beat, and don't over value a pair, even if it's KK In the long run, it will pay off.
-
