And so it becomes. That time of the year I really hate. Christmas.
That magical time, when we all celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, God's son who gave his life to save us all. That is how it started anyway. These days it is nothing but a commercial party lasting months in which we are all strongly encouraged to waste our money on over-extravagance.
We all fall for it of course. The children put the pressure on and we feel we have to ‘keep up with the Joneses'. Small presents turn into spending hundreds of pounds that we will be paying back all year. And God help us if we don't splash out, shunned into being a Scrooge by all who hear about it.
Then there is the family and friends. They buy is crap that sits in the back of a cupboard and we return the favour. "They always spend £20 on us so we have to spend £20 on them". It is the most pointless exercise in the history of exercises! I think next year I will be brave enough to ask for vouchers from people. Then I will use those vouchers to buy them their Christmas presents. Problem solved.
We all put on food, using Christmas as an excuse to slob it up and eat and drink to our hearts content, yet more money spent on useless frivolities. It's ok, the NHS will pick up the bill for the upcoming heart attack.
And I want to know why do I have to see family and friends at Christmas? I have spent all year avoiding them, I don't see why I have to see them now. If I wanted to see you, I would make sure I see you all year round, not leave it until I am forced into it by some Christian etiquette.
You have to see your elderly mum because it is Christmas and you don't want her to be alone? See her all year ffs!!
Do they know it's Christmas time? I don't care. Why should Christmas be a time when we all suddenly start donating to charity. If you really believe you should do the right thing and donate to charity, then why leave it to Christmas to do it?
I am sure there is a poker lesson in there somewhere but I am too grumpy now to even bother working it out so screw it, let's cancel Christmas.
If not you, who? If not now, when?