Posted by youngbaboon: I don't know about you guys, but, I think poker is kind of a vice for me. I've never smoked weed, barely drink, eat very healthy, but poker is my one vice. I'm a good player, but kind of feel dirty when I play. I totally throws off my daily life vibe. Like, I'm way more irritable, not chill, thinking about money, and just not really my self. It's like I go into Poker World. A different dimension separate from reality. But, I really like poker. I'm always a profit player, but can't play for more than 2 or 3 days in a row. I'm like, OK, f**k it. Then intentionally blow all of my money. One time on Full Tilt, I turned a 100 dollar deposit into 4300 dollars in 5 hours. I kid you not. Then in my mind I was like, "this is dirty money, I don't want this". I then kind of subconsciously blew it all away intentionally. Literally in 45 min. It's really weird and hard to explain. But,I kind of always go on a poker kick every few months or 6 months for like a week really intense, make a s**t load of money, and lose it all on a dime. It's like I'm content not having the money. I want it and yet I don't want it. It sounds f**ked up. Anyway, that's what it is... Oh ya the reason I'm writing this is because I just did it again. I got the 5000 VIP point no deposit at Players Only and turned it into 61 bucks. Respectable... lol. But, then I was like. I can't play this tomorrow. I can't be around girls and be chill and myself. Seriously. I'm like jumpy. So, I was like, "OK f**k it", played a 30 dollar; way to high for my bank roll. Played really stupid, went to 31 bucks, then was like, "I don't want this money". So, I went to the black jack table (never a smart move) and intentionally played until I lost all that money. So, there it is...
I have taking some thought on this and I reckon your problem is you need a wife or a husband dependent on your preferences,, iether will give you a good kick up the ass and tell you to get your dummy out your mouth,
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Posted by youngbaboon: Exactly. That's right on. I feel great when I'm making honest money than trance into poker world and withdraw myself from everything else. It sucks. But, ya. I think it is all about the urge. You get going and going to a really high bank roll and just like the adrenalin of playing way to high. You kind of forget the fact that it's real money and think it can always be more. Then even if you withdraw how long do you not play for? How much of that money do you put back in? It's a reciprocal cycle of mind games tapping into one of the most primitive humanistic urges. It goes back to our ancestors man. You turn into an untamed animal. Good or bad? It's good to be untamed, but only in certain ways. Gambling might not be one of them. It can turn real ugly if it goes unchecked for to long.
dont incourage him, you also need to get a grip,, of what I dont have to tell you because you already probably have it in hand
Joined: Nov '09
Location: Philippines
Age: 51 (M)
Posts: 1011
Posted by youngbaboon: I don't know about you guys, but, I think poker is kind of a vice for me. I've never smoked weed, barely drink, eat very healthy, but poker is my one vice. I'm a good player, but kind of feel dirty when I play. I totally throws off my daily life vibe. Like, I'm way more irritable, not chill, thinking about money, and just not really my self. It's like I go into Poker World. A different dimension separate from reality. But, I really like poker. I'm always a profit player, but can't play for more than 2 or 3 days in a row. I'm like, OK, f**k it. Then intentionally blow all of my money. One time on Full Tilt, I turned a 100 dollar deposit into 4300 dollars in 5 hours. I kid you not. Then in my mind I was like, "this is dirty money, I don't want this". I then kind of subconsciously blew it all away intentionally. Literally in 45 min. It's really weird and hard to explain. But,I kind of always go on a poker kick every few months or 6 months for like a week really intense, make a s**t load of money, and lose it all on a dime. It's like I'm content not having the money. I want it and yet I don't want it. It sounds f**ked up. Anyway, that's what it is... Oh ya the reason I'm writing this is because I just did it again. I got the 5000 VIP point no deposit at Players Only and turned it into 61 bucks. Respectable... lol. But, then I was like. I can't play this tomorrow. I can't be around girls and be chill and myself. Seriously. I'm like jumpy. So, I was like, "OK f**k it", played a 30 dollar; way to high for my bank roll. Played really stupid, went to 31 bucks, then was like, "I don't want this money". So, I went to the black jack table (never a smart move) and intentionally played until I lost all that money. So, there it is...
Joined: May '10
Location: United States
Age: 37 (M)
Posts: 59
Dude that is very true. It's definitely good to have people keep you in check. My friends all know that I play poker and I always keep them updated on "what's goin' on" (good song). Also, it's not like I'm an addict. I'm not trying to give that impression. I'm merely psychoanalyzing the inner workings of poker from the abstract reciprocated portions. It's fun to look at it this way. Poker is fun, and there is so many mind obstacles behind it. But, bank roll management and expectations are very important. One of you said I need to know what I want. That is very true. It's good to have goals in mind as opposed to, "I'm gonna see how much I can make in a short period of time". So, you gotta be organized and know what you want.
